Relationships are one of the working areas that I consistently focus energy on improving. After I graduated from college, I made this a priority. Throughout college, I watched as my friendships grew into fruitful exchanges.
Currently, I am focusing on learning how to appreciate and value the other person. One of the advocacy and training projects that I have worked for used this technique and I saw how beneficial it was to the community. Participating in this dynamic inspired me to incorporate it into my daily life, and make sure it was an integral part of my relationships. I put a lot of value on a romantic relationship, and when that investment gets very little return, or I feel like my warmth is merely being absorbed, instead of expanding on the warmth between people, I start to feel drained. That is when conflict arises. I have learned at the moment that I feel drained, that that is a moment where I need to walk away because it isn't a healthy situation.
Maybe this could be more beneficial if I was able to determine this at an earlier point of relationship formation, but this is the current limit to my personal awareness.
I put so much weight on the relationship and it's functionality, that how I feel about it can overtake my willingness to engage with work, friends, and personal hobbies and passions. I am committed not to let this happen again. Committed to making sure that I never overlook the positive mainstay people in my life that want to be supports for me.
And now I can see it, recognize it, and walk away before I get mired.
My survival mechanism has been the ability to walk away. To let the past live in the past and leave it there. It is not a fault, it is an asset.
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