Lessons I have learned about writing over the years:
1st grade: Writing is about keeping in the dotted lines and space allotted to you.
2nd grade: Get on that fragment. Does it include a color: check An animal: check+
3rd grade: Sentences are more about spelling words correctly.
4rth grade: You better be able to listen and write at the same time. Spelling, space, and legibility
5th grade: Did we write? I think this time was more about math and science...
6th grade: Alright, now its time to write reports about history. Tie all those skills together.
7th grade: Feeling like an emotional mess? Write about it via this seemingly uninteresting picture prompt. Your writing is timed now.
8th grade: Middle school emotions blurted out onto that page. You feel like an outcast? Well, writing is your only escape.
9th grade: Your writing from middle school scared your teachers. Let's write about your summer reading now. Poke at the profound and fail.
10th grade: You think you can write a thesis? Ha, kill yourself with those two pages of detail on an act of historical importance that is culturally insensitive.
11th grade: Okay, we need you to write well enough to get out of high school. Use transitions. Leave the emotion and adopt structure.
12th grade: You can write better than your teachers now. The red marks are suggections on where to put commas. No one ever taught me how to use punctuation correctly other than periods and exclamation marks, damnit.
College:
Freshman: Why doesn't anyone appreciate my prose? I am bleeding beautifully on this page for you to read?!?!!?
Sophmore: WTF?!? HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO WRITE IN COLLEGE?
Junior: Got this, my thesis and topic sentences are all that matter. Make a point and move on. Rollin' in the good.
Senior: I now realize that I spent years learning obscure vocabulary and flowery adjectives only to have to limit myself to using them when they only fit perfectly? Wow, my writing seems dry now, but it is more concise and such a solid argument.
Work Life: Pick your words carefully. Only use words that you can back up with your work. Writing is like encasing yourself against any line of fire. Only say what is real and truthful, and you will shine.
What a perfect projection to law school.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Professional Lessons Learned
Last June, I decided that I needed to take a break from school. My health had been up and down for quite some time and I just needed a year to let things settle.
As it is almost a year later from having made that initial decision that turned into a real decision in about 3 days, this is where I stand.
I've lived in Oklahoma, Germany, went to NJ after Hurricane Sandy for 4 days, drove across the country, crashed on a floor in San Francisco, moved into my own flat in Sacramento, went to South Africa, and am currently moving out to live with a friend for the summer and then to Seattle in September.
Whoah. Well, my experiences have taught me a lot, but this was not a year of settling.
This has been a year where I have explored relationships, learned about bounadries, and became tougher. I am a lesbian, for all that it is worth, that is what I am. I've had to hide this for work purposes and fight the legitimacy of my sexuality in friendships with males. I've had to make clear distinctions about how I am willing to be treated and willing to treat other people. I've had to learn how to sit in meetings with people that held more power than me that were sexist and lied to me.
From today, my biggest take-away is that you should never let anyone emotionally manipulate you, especially at work. If the point you are making is valid and logical reasoning is behind it, never let anyone say "but don't you feel guilty" or "are you just having a hard time because things are happening in your life outside of work".
If you are a woman, people may try to "gaslight" you to make you seem unreasonable to try to shy away from an important point. Don't back down. This year, I learned not to cry. I haven't became less sensitive, I have become more aware that people try to blame a women's ethical and professional stance as stemming from an emotional place. This is simply untrue. I don't let people make that assumption and then tie those things together for me.
Be firm. Realize that when people try to do this that tey are attempting to remove the legitimacy from your arguement. Ask them to stop asking about your feelings, because you know they wouldn't do that to your male counterpart.
This was never about my feelings, it was about my profession.
As it is almost a year later from having made that initial decision that turned into a real decision in about 3 days, this is where I stand.
I've lived in Oklahoma, Germany, went to NJ after Hurricane Sandy for 4 days, drove across the country, crashed on a floor in San Francisco, moved into my own flat in Sacramento, went to South Africa, and am currently moving out to live with a friend for the summer and then to Seattle in September.
Whoah. Well, my experiences have taught me a lot, but this was not a year of settling.
This has been a year where I have explored relationships, learned about bounadries, and became tougher. I am a lesbian, for all that it is worth, that is what I am. I've had to hide this for work purposes and fight the legitimacy of my sexuality in friendships with males. I've had to make clear distinctions about how I am willing to be treated and willing to treat other people. I've had to learn how to sit in meetings with people that held more power than me that were sexist and lied to me.
From today, my biggest take-away is that you should never let anyone emotionally manipulate you, especially at work. If the point you are making is valid and logical reasoning is behind it, never let anyone say "but don't you feel guilty" or "are you just having a hard time because things are happening in your life outside of work".
If you are a woman, people may try to "gaslight" you to make you seem unreasonable to try to shy away from an important point. Don't back down. This year, I learned not to cry. I haven't became less sensitive, I have become more aware that people try to blame a women's ethical and professional stance as stemming from an emotional place. This is simply untrue. I don't let people make that assumption and then tie those things together for me.
Be firm. Realize that when people try to do this that tey are attempting to remove the legitimacy from your arguement. Ask them to stop asking about your feelings, because you know they wouldn't do that to your male counterpart.
This was never about my feelings, it was about my profession.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The End of Innocence
On Friday, I saw this film Mud. Without going into an enitre analysis of the film, I would like to point out one thing.
The feeling that a child experiences when they find out someone that they trusted isn't being honest or living up to the honorable thoughts that he/she represented for the child. Breaching that line of trust is heartbreaking. I am starting to wonder if moments like that are when young children begin to loose their innocence. For some, I think it may solidify the reasons that they believe in a cause. For others, I think it begins the justifications for doing wrong or bending the rules without feeling the need to acknowledge the break in integrity and being unapologetic about it.
I remember when this started happening to me, and I feel like I go through it every time I see someone I look up to going down a path where they become protective over their mistakes and misgivings.
Just acknowledge it.
And if you need to, apologize.
I understand that people are imperfect. I know I am, but damn, be willing to say that you are sorry.
Also, gonna take this break to erase my social media presence.
The feeling that a child experiences when they find out someone that they trusted isn't being honest or living up to the honorable thoughts that he/she represented for the child. Breaching that line of trust is heartbreaking. I am starting to wonder if moments like that are when young children begin to loose their innocence. For some, I think it may solidify the reasons that they believe in a cause. For others, I think it begins the justifications for doing wrong or bending the rules without feeling the need to acknowledge the break in integrity and being unapologetic about it.
I remember when this started happening to me, and I feel like I go through it every time I see someone I look up to going down a path where they become protective over their mistakes and misgivings.
Just acknowledge it.
And if you need to, apologize.
I understand that people are imperfect. I know I am, but damn, be willing to say that you are sorry.
Also, gonna take this break to erase my social media presence.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
College Was Real, But not Reality
Going back to visit college and friends that are still in college is quite the experience. Stanford was such an isolated place. In fact, departments of Stanford isolate from the world and each other. There are very few opportunities for cross-pollination of intellectual vigor and resources.
This weekend I went back to watch the Rugby National Championship. I noticed the distinct smell of the dorms and dining halls. The unofficial dress code of plain t-shirts with colors and khakis. Wilbur dining is like a buffet line on a cruise ship... they even play the mood music. A smoothie station with 10 blenders awaits everyone on their arrival.
Frat houses have the guys with slightly different haircuts and the same architectual designs. Flomo has the distinct SLE vibe, a place where very few people that were not involved in SLE go, except for the dining hall. I'm glad I lived in a co-op for the last three years. I am glad that I traveled. Stanford is a great place o be nutured intellectually with a stable environment that one can count on, but it is a manufactured reality, not actual reality.
Going back reminds me of you. A playful spirit with no moral responsibility to other people. Delighting in fun and running from seriousness and depth. Only undersatnding the human spirit on a topical level. But this time was different... I met this girl who showed me that she could embody the best parts of you with the depths of consciousness of another's human experience. It was beautiful. And for all of the criticism that I have of my alma mater, I appreciate this place for cultivating people like her.
This weekend I went back to watch the Rugby National Championship. I noticed the distinct smell of the dorms and dining halls. The unofficial dress code of plain t-shirts with colors and khakis. Wilbur dining is like a buffet line on a cruise ship... they even play the mood music. A smoothie station with 10 blenders awaits everyone on their arrival.
Frat houses have the guys with slightly different haircuts and the same architectual designs. Flomo has the distinct SLE vibe, a place where very few people that were not involved in SLE go, except for the dining hall. I'm glad I lived in a co-op for the last three years. I am glad that I traveled. Stanford is a great place o be nutured intellectually with a stable environment that one can count on, but it is a manufactured reality, not actual reality.
Going back reminds me of you. A playful spirit with no moral responsibility to other people. Delighting in fun and running from seriousness and depth. Only undersatnding the human spirit on a topical level. But this time was different... I met this girl who showed me that she could embody the best parts of you with the depths of consciousness of another's human experience. It was beautiful. And for all of the criticism that I have of my alma mater, I appreciate this place for cultivating people like her.
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