We thought we were through...

So any announcements on the horizon, but so little that I am allowed to make or say. :(

Traveling, you thought that you and I were in for a break, but I had both of us fooled.  I may not be one for holding and grasping romantic relationships, however my wanderlust in professional and personal life never ceases to amaze me. This big trip involves a stop in London and then a destination on a continent that I have never been too....

Face it.

The people you surround yourself with are a huge determinant in your happiness.  They can inspire you, hold you back, hold you accountable, or let you linger in your unhappiness.  Choosing the people that bring the best out of you and challenge you to be a better person with every life move that you make will change your perspective and motivate you.

Choose wisely.

Thanksgiving

Giving thanks, and finding what you are thankful for.  I'd rather explore the larger concept of what this day is about than focus on the actual history, which is wrought with colonialism and racism. My own personal history of what this day is traditionally supposed to be and look like is just as painful on a personal level, so sticking with a less traditional way of celebrating has taken the weight off of the negativity associated with the holidays.

This Thanksgiving was the first that I did not feel any pressure to commit myself to any activities or social gatherings.  I was lucky enough to spend the day on the warm beach with a friend enjoying the serenity of being outside. The opportunity to be able to do this is one of the many reasons why I appreciate California.

A Life in Transit

Today, I officially finished my cross-country trip.  At this end, I can say that I gained valuable lessons about driving long distances.. in a short summation.

1. Never drive across the United States of America alone.  It is a horrible idea, for many reasons and reasons that I probably do not even know about.
2.  If you get sick, flu, fever, etc. STOP and rest.  You will only become more ill as you stock up on the miles.
3.  Make sure your cruise control works, otherwise you will be fatigued merely from pressing on the gas.
4.  Watch out for crazy truck drivers.  If you must drive alone, put a life-size stuffed animal in your passenger side seat.
5. And lastly, watch out for poles.  If you back up into something, you will damage your taillight and whatever is on the back of your car.

Birthday Day

Happy Birthday to me!  Today marks year number 23.  When did I get to the point in my mid-twenties that everyone says makes or breaks you?  Well, I guess it is time to buckle up because it is here now.

Since I am usually too busy to plan anything on my birthday, I thought it apt to consider why I do this.  I think its a defensive mechanism I use in case everyone forgets my birthday and doesn't have time for me.  This way I can say that I was too busy to actually organize anything.  The sad thing is, I feel like it is forgotten every year and this is my pathetic way of covering it up.  

My birthdays as a child were a psychological mind play for my mother, so they were never, ever fun.

But as I got older I turned them into games of life..

Like when I was 17 and I decided it would be a great idea to take 2 people I knew and drive from NJ to Ohio on my provisional license to hang out in a shady hotel and check out Oberlin College.

Or when I was 18 and went to a concert in NYC to see my favorite band, got on the opposite train from my best friend, and had forgotten my cell phone in her car.  However, we got to meet the band, free tickets to the show the next night in NJ, and from there blossomed an unhealthy but totally free concert going experience for 2-3 years.

When I was 19 I spent the whole day filling water ballons, a pinata, and buying silly string and had a great freshman dorm party.  Yeah, before the time of the year when everyone hated each other.. or I greatly disliked them.  Pick your poison.

20 was celebrated with a dinner and my roommate showing me I had wasted a lot of time in a friendship.

and thus 21 and 22 were completely under the radar.  I think so much so that they almost made me forget how to celebrate.

So here is to 23, gonna give it a grand go for my birthday twin, Helen.

Whirlwind of travel

In the midst of jumping through the hopes of errands and getting ready to drive cross-country.  Tomorrow is my birthday, unfortunately, I am always so busy that I never really celebrate.  It is looking like that will also be the case tomorrow.  Friday will be a day of packing.

My luggage is still in Italy. :(  And we had a snow storm in Jersey yesterday.  As most people are just beginning to recover from hurricane Sandy, this proved to be really inconvenient. BUT I had the chance to celebrate the progressive movements of the US on election day by watching PBS documentaries.

Furthermore, I find it is exceptionally difficult to blog while having a very quick travel turn around.

What hipsters don't understand about "dumpster diving"..

For today, I am going to ignore the fact that in under 40 hours I will begin traveling back to the U.S. and people will be waking up to prepare to vote in an election where Romney could end up being the next President of the USA.

The first time I heard the term "dumpster diving", I had a negative visceral reaction to it. Immediately, I hated the concept and found it difficult not to judge those who supported it due to their clear ignorance of how their privilege alone allows this to be an activity to be proud of and hold on a pedestal. After holding an event for this at the co-op that I worked in as a staff last year, I feel the same way, if not stronger.

Holding "dumpster diving" in high esteem is like laughing at poverty in the face of millions who suffer directly from the inability to find food on a regular basis because they cannot find work or  job that can adequately sustain the needs of oneself or one's family. Young 20 something adults, or children, go "dumpster diving".  It is a great way to bypass having a high paying job as you travel the world as a young person.  This allows that young person to stretch the money that they receive from their parents, or if they are not that lucky, from the bank account they acquired while in college or working in a start-up tech company for 6 months, for as long as possible in a way that will seem trendy and foreign to those in their friend circle.

Would you say the same for a father of two that has to go through the garbage in NYC to find a meal for his family?  Do you think he would prefer to tell his children that after work he first needs to go "dumpster diving" to find dinner, or he needs to bring them with him so that they can search as many places as possible just to find a meal that will sustain them all?

"Dumpster diving" trivializes the strain that real people, of all races and ethnicities face when they are living in poverty. They do not have classes that teach them which food is safe to eat from which kind of garbage disposal, how long a food can be open to air before it is susceptible to life-threatening bacteria, or how to create a well balanced diet based off of what you find. But people who want to make a hobby of "dumpster diving" do.  

This activity also further stigmatizes those individuals that rely on shifting through garbage for SOMETHING to eat, SOMETHING to piece together to find a semblance of what the average person would call a meal.  "They" are the ones milking everything they can get from welfare and are still behaving like animals on the street, but when young rich people do it it is environmentally friendly and a call for a change in every day behavior.

The last thing I want to say about "dumpster diving" is that it is a choice.  Something that those young people choose to do from their own volition. No external forces are actually forcing them to live this way.  People who live in poverty do not have the luxury of this choice, and it is not a transient phase that they pursue in order to broaden their minds.  They are trying to survive, for that moment, for one more day, and perhaps for a future in which they don't have to struggle.

No one will spit or yell demeaning slogans about poverty to a young person who is clearly "dumpster diving", they have the privilege of economic tourism and the privilege to see this activity as pleasure rather than survival with a deep social stigma.

Oh, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have a power over my soul. A power enhanced by coffee and dark chocolate. Could this be a motivating factor to pack? I hope.

On Tuesday, I am supposed to depart to the U.S. via Milan, Italy.  From which, I will go to my hometown, which is the region hardest hit by Hurricane Sandy.  From the pictures, its hard to really fathom the damage that has been done.  Hopefully, I will get to help out a bit, celebrate my birthday, and then I will make my 3rd cross-country road trip to SF. Woohoo.

Being that I have been bedridden with sickness the past three days, I have nothing to report.  Although, I rather like writing about nebulous topics that induce some sort of inner critic in me.

A wavering line

Part of me has always been an old-fashioned intellectual. Pop culture only infiltrated me as much as a high regard for grunge and alternative rock, with which I could indulge my feelings of angst against an opaque societal vision. Classic literature has always been my favorite read, and I have little appreciation for authors that print a book, or more, a year. This ability to churn out books seems so shallow.  Perhaps I am just fantasizing about an author belaboring over word choice and subtleties in the plot.  But I think it is deeper than that.  Authors that have taken a lifetime to author great works, only to be recognized after their death, had some hesitation to unveil their work to outside eyes.  Maybe they acknowledged the complexity of life and the seeming insipid simplicity of people, and were afraid that their work couldn't capture all they knew about the world and how they related to it. They didn't argue for a one-dimensional perception of the world, and perhaps they felt that their work did just that, and so it went unpublished. I'm pointing this out, because I think now is the first time I ever really understood this.

College blew a lot of my hard-lined thought processes out of the window, but it made me realize that going to far in either direction can be dangerous.  Encouraging polar beliefs, discourages analytical thought. Instead of creating banners to incite aggression or alienation, we should be creating banners that encourage research and intellectual honesty. Then whatever you come to, is your own personal belief.  It doesn't fit in a box, it shouldn't.  Coming to a conclusion about something is finite. People make it finite, but making a conclusion finite cuts us off to what the other people have learned, discovered, and feel.  That is why it is so important to be open. Be open, but be rational about it. Question change, question being stagnant. 

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is always the hardest part in leaving somewhere. I know that it isn't a forever goodbye, but I never know when the ebb of my spirit will bring me back, or force me to find a way back.

There is always something so beautiful and sad about an end.  Perhaps, because an end feels like a beginning.  You can see how far you have come since that path began, and the tangible progress amazes you and inspires you to do something more.

The free spirit is calling...