Whenever I need to be put at ease, or need ample head space to think, I usually find a corner of the world that I can be alone with nature. This doesn't always mean that I am completely alone, because usually I find a bird, insect, or small mammal to observe but it brings solitude. Initially, I was unsure how I would like the safari. Would it be loud and chaotic, or a form of animal exhibition? Well, I was pleasantly surprised by how respectful and knowledgable our guide Adrian was about the bush and it's inhabitants.
When we were driving and slowing down for the turtles crossing the street, the rhinos checking us out, and the elephants that were protecting their own, I felt the awe of nature. It was magical and brought me in. It was a new experience that I was unsure about but was able to embrace. While I was sitting there, I just thought of others people that I would love to share these moments with, because I knew it would touch their hearts. During those moments I felt like a small child excited by how a bunny hops. The animals and the landscape were new and unfamiliar and I wanted to soak it all in.
However, I wasn't very good at spotting animals. Jamie, Dante, and Onikah definitely get the prizes for pin-pointing them. To me, it was like playing where's Waldo when driving.... Not easy.
Wishing that I could post my pictures,
Crys
Monday, February 25, 2013
Friday, February 22, 2013
Robben Island
This blog is a little late, but its hard to kept day by day updates on our travel schedule, so here is my belated post about the trip to Robben Island. I find it hard to transcribe all of my thoughts, especially when in a new country with so many profound experiences, so I am going to focus on one aspect of the tour.
Despite being in such a beautiful place, Robben Island and the cells on the island are barren. Unlike the rest of South Africa, the cells are void of color, and its difficult to see the ocean over the dry tree line. From most of the cells it is even difficult to see the sun. What is so amazing is that despite the barren nature on the island, some of the political prisoners remained vibrant a, giving individuals. They were resilient and believed in cause bigger than themselves. One example of this is a story that we were told about the lime quarry.
The lime quarry was where some of the prisoners worked during the day. Long days were spent in the hot sand under direct sunlight. To go tithe restroom the prisoners needed to ask for permission. Although the conditions were hard, prisoners found a way to educate themselves. They wrote lessons in the sand as they worked. Many of the political prisoners were teachers, doctors, and men of high educational attainment and wished to share that with their comrades. One man entered the prison with an education certificate for 8th grade and he left with two college degrees.
Furthermore, the prisoners do not only share their skills amongst each other. They taught their wardens too. However, as higher officials heard of this they rotated wardens and even removed wardens from the island that they thought were sympathetic to the prisoners. Yet this did not stop the process of learning.
It's amazing how humans can cultivate the human spirit amongst the conditions of a prison. No man is an island, put if you put a man on an island, he will find a way to connect.
And to top it all off, we had a tour guide that was a former political prisoner there and he said to us, " it's all about introspection....check yourself."
In solidarity,
Crys
Despite being in such a beautiful place, Robben Island and the cells on the island are barren. Unlike the rest of South Africa, the cells are void of color, and its difficult to see the ocean over the dry tree line. From most of the cells it is even difficult to see the sun. What is so amazing is that despite the barren nature on the island, some of the political prisoners remained vibrant a, giving individuals. They were resilient and believed in cause bigger than themselves. One example of this is a story that we were told about the lime quarry.
The lime quarry was where some of the prisoners worked during the day. Long days were spent in the hot sand under direct sunlight. To go tithe restroom the prisoners needed to ask for permission. Although the conditions were hard, prisoners found a way to educate themselves. They wrote lessons in the sand as they worked. Many of the political prisoners were teachers, doctors, and men of high educational attainment and wished to share that with their comrades. One man entered the prison with an education certificate for 8th grade and he left with two college degrees.
Furthermore, the prisoners do not only share their skills amongst each other. They taught their wardens too. However, as higher officials heard of this they rotated wardens and even removed wardens from the island that they thought were sympathetic to the prisoners. Yet this did not stop the process of learning.
It's amazing how humans can cultivate the human spirit amongst the conditions of a prison. No man is an island, put if you put a man on an island, he will find a way to connect.
And to top it all off, we had a tour guide that was a former political prisoner there and he said to us, " it's all about introspection....check yourself."
In solidarity,
Crys
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Re-purposing the Trash Can
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all. From now on you'll be traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey.”- Meg Cabot
When we were walking back to our hostel tonight after some delicious Greek food, I saw a shorter version of this quote on a trash can. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about courage and what it means to be of courageous mind and character. Courage is the ability to recognize that you may have fear about something, but you decide to work through that fear for a bigger purpose. And this message was on a trash can.
Seeing this quote reminded me of a young lady who gave us a tour at the African Leadership Academy. She was from Ghana and someone asked her how she found out about ALA. Timidly, she expressed that she was embarrassed to tell us that she had found the application on a trash can. Finding that application changed the course of her life. If her eyes weren't open to the world around her, even the trash cans, she would have missed it.
Trash cans are normally utilized merely for the disposal of trash, however in South Africa I've found and heard stories of how they provided opportunity and food for thought. What a great use of a communal space and changing the connotation of a common communal object.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
My taxi valentine
5 am and I'm laying in the hostel bed thinking about the variety of experiences that I have had so far. I'm not sure that I could make the claim that this has changed me, but it definitely is reminding me of parts of myself that I have left behind, either in my mind or in my spirit. It's as if I'm meetings an old friend to do something new.
My major point of growth for the day was helping our driver find his way to the Eastgate mall, ALA, and back. Eastgate was merely a stop to exchange money. This was our driver's first day driving foreigners, specifically white foreigners. He is used to driving groups from Soweto. He missed a turn and you could tell that he was so nervous. So I got up and moved to the front seat next to him, at that moment we became a time. His nervousness made him utterly lost in terms of directional capability, but he remained a safe driver. I became the navigator. We had an unspoken bond, and no one in the back knew quite how bad it was, but although a bit stressful for me I was thankful for it. I say stressful because I didn't have a map, just vague directions and a vague sense of direction in a city and country that I have only been in for one day and where they drive in the opposite side of the road. The experienced stretched me, I made wrong choices of guidance but we fixed those choices together, secretly, some not so secretly. Our vulnerability created warmth and humor. And in the end, we got where we needed to go and I got to interact with a couple people on the street, I was even asked to be someone's Valentine. And offered anything I want in the world. :)
My major point of growth for the day was helping our driver find his way to the Eastgate mall, ALA, and back. Eastgate was merely a stop to exchange money. This was our driver's first day driving foreigners, specifically white foreigners. He is used to driving groups from Soweto. He missed a turn and you could tell that he was so nervous. So I got up and moved to the front seat next to him, at that moment we became a time. His nervousness made him utterly lost in terms of directional capability, but he remained a safe driver. I became the navigator. We had an unspoken bond, and no one in the back knew quite how bad it was, but although a bit stressful for me I was thankful for it. I say stressful because I didn't have a map, just vague directions and a vague sense of direction in a city and country that I have only been in for one day and where they drive in the opposite side of the road. The experienced stretched me, I made wrong choices of guidance but we fixed those choices together, secretly, some not so secretly. Our vulnerability created warmth and humor. And in the end, we got where we needed to go and I got to interact with a couple people on the street, I was even asked to be someone's Valentine. And offered anything I want in the world. :)
Friday, February 15, 2013
Day 1
We landed at 7am local time in Johannesburg. I met some great characters on the flight including a South African/Portuguese journalist and a Canadian who married her husband while they were both working the carnival. From the airport we headed right to our hostel. The summer weather was giving us shining beams and we headed off to a tour of downtown Johannesburg and Soweto.
We ventured off to see homeopathic healing beliefs and townships. As well was Nelson Mandela's house and the Apartheid Museum. I feel I like I have a lot to process, but I'm not sure I can try to articulate on such little sleep. I wouldn't do it justice.
One of the most touching things that happened to me was as I was walking through the neighborhood of Kliptown in the township of Soweto, a woman came up and started walking next to me. In a low voice she whispered how she was struggling. The toddler strapped on her back looked at me with this deep, wise eyes. The expression in his eyes was different then I seen in young children. It was like he was already wise about the troubles of the world, and knowingly telling me that I was too small to solve them.
We ventured off to see homeopathic healing beliefs and townships. As well was Nelson Mandela's house and the Apartheid Museum. I feel I like I have a lot to process, but I'm not sure I can try to articulate on such little sleep. I wouldn't do it justice.
One of the most touching things that happened to me was as I was walking through the neighborhood of Kliptown in the township of Soweto, a woman came up and started walking next to me. In a low voice she whispered how she was struggling. The toddler strapped on her back looked at me with this deep, wise eyes. The expression in his eyes was different then I seen in young children. It was like he was already wise about the troubles of the world, and knowingly telling me that I was too small to solve them.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
London
Happy Valentine's Day from London! Tis the first that I am spending abroad, and with an authentic German candy bar the size of my head. In other news, on the flight here we had twos people dressed as Scooby Doo and the Honey Monster do laps inside the plane mid-flight. British people have the silliest kind of humor. I felt like I was on the U-Bahn at midnight in Berlin.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Butterflies in the stomach
This trip has me so excited, I am getting butterflies realizing the reality. I had an interesting night packing and finishing coursework for an entrepreneur class that I'm taking. The morning quickly rolled around and I had sleep maybe 2 hours, to be on the generous side. Then I shoved everything into my backpack and started the drive from Sacramento to San Francisco. It went by without a hitch. I rolled up to a friend's house took an hour nap in her driveway and then ate some dark chocolate with her to try to bring me back to a non-sleepy state.
The first part of my journey....
And my first leg of the flight. To London for Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, I am so lucky to be alive. <3
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Packing...
"Life is not about weathering the storm, it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
Today I left work a little early to work from home, so that I could pack for South Africa and pick up a package from my apartment office. I thought I would only be picking up one package that had the power adapter, which I have neglected to pick up for the last week due to the fact that I haven't been home during office hours. Dragging my bags, I expected to pick up one package but to my surprise I had six packages waiting for me. My wonderful friends had sent me random gifts of love. The last five days have been so work heavy that I wanted to cry from exhaustion and I could feel the bags under my eyes. These reminders of love lifted my spirits so that I could make a space for me to be excited about my upcoming travel.
And after a trip to Target's sale section, the bank, the post office, and the library I am ready to start my packing endeavor.
My fun and safe travel pack for South Africa includes:
X Backpack
X Water Bottle
X Passport
X Copies of Important Documents
X Eye Mask/ Ear buds
X Digital Camera
X Jeans (2)
Long Socks (2) whoops, forgot those, will need to buy some
X Light Jacket
X Socks (3)
X Underwear
X Sports Bras (3)
X Cloth Shorts (2)
X Khaki Shorts
X Tank Tops (3)
X T-Shirts (2)
X Long Sleeve Shirt
X Mosquito Repellent
X Malaria Pills
X Sunglasses
X Wrist-Watch
X Sneakers
X Bathing Suit
Flip-flops forgot these too....
X Inhaler
X Medications
X Shampoo/Conditioner
X Razor
X Toothbrush/tooth paste/floss
X Mouth Guard
X Deodorant
X First Aid Kit
X Cash
I hope this will be okay, and I am leaving plenty of room in my checked bag.... :)
Monday, February 11, 2013
Final Countdown
I feel like this is a race against time and I am winning. I have no idea how I have been able to function on so little sleep the past few days or even that I can manage to articulate in full sentences with the amount of work that I have been putting into various projects.
I did not fall asleep while driving hoe after a 10 hour work day in the city, and I am still dragging my weary eyes over personal logistics for South Africa and some last minute work details.
Human spirit for the win.
I did not fall asleep while driving hoe after a 10 hour work day in the city, and I am still dragging my weary eyes over personal logistics for South Africa and some last minute work details.
Human spirit for the win.
Thank You
Now that I am unable to sleep:
Thank you. Thank you for showing me that my closest friends really do have the best judgement, and that my initial assessment of character was correct.
Thank you for showing me that maturity does not lie in age, but in the manner in which you approach and engage with others that are giving you their time and energy. People's time and energy are the most valuable things that someone can give. Through those two things, someone gives you portions of their life and their love. Don't underestimate that, it is powerful and significant.
This is a great chance to take that time and utilize it to strengthen and deepen meaningful relationships and experiences. Thank you for giving me that future time to invest in current and new relationships. Although initially selfish, your actions are for my benefit. A large painful consequence is better for realization than small occurrences that add up over any given period of time. Without being willing to give, you were willing to take. A sign indicative of a young, young mind on a journey. A journey that I have long surpassed.
One of the main things that has changed from that time is my ability to recognize the power that identifying the positives can have. I am happy and glad, and feel free. Free knowing that I was honest and genuine.
Thank you. Thank you for showing me that my closest friends really do have the best judgement, and that my initial assessment of character was correct.
Thank you for showing me that maturity does not lie in age, but in the manner in which you approach and engage with others that are giving you their time and energy. People's time and energy are the most valuable things that someone can give. Through those two things, someone gives you portions of their life and their love. Don't underestimate that, it is powerful and significant.
This is a great chance to take that time and utilize it to strengthen and deepen meaningful relationships and experiences. Thank you for giving me that future time to invest in current and new relationships. Although initially selfish, your actions are for my benefit. A large painful consequence is better for realization than small occurrences that add up over any given period of time. Without being willing to give, you were willing to take. A sign indicative of a young, young mind on a journey. A journey that I have long surpassed.
One of the main things that has changed from that time is my ability to recognize the power that identifying the positives can have. I am happy and glad, and feel free. Free knowing that I was honest and genuine.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Exhaustion
4 cups of coffee into the day and I am still exhausted.
The past few days have been a whirlwind of getting ready for South Africa, completing coursework for this online class I have been doing, getting work projects into order, and visiting with friends I haven't seen in a long time. I Have been California City hopping since Friday, and I will not be finished with this city hopping pattern until I am on the plane for Johannesburg.
But! I had a semi-college night last night when I visited the Earth Sciences building at Stanford with a friend, and completed my taxes! One big thing off of my to-do list.
And I did a massive prep trip to the sales section of Target and got the majority of extras that I will need for the trip.
This is what your 20's are for.. living fast and working hard. I'm going to make this life full of memories of all kinds.
No more coffee for today though...
The past few days have been a whirlwind of getting ready for South Africa, completing coursework for this online class I have been doing, getting work projects into order, and visiting with friends I haven't seen in a long time. I Have been California City hopping since Friday, and I will not be finished with this city hopping pattern until I am on the plane for Johannesburg.
But! I had a semi-college night last night when I visited the Earth Sciences building at Stanford with a friend, and completed my taxes! One big thing off of my to-do list.
And I did a massive prep trip to the sales section of Target and got the majority of extras that I will need for the trip.
This is what your 20's are for.. living fast and working hard. I'm going to make this life full of memories of all kinds.
No more coffee for today though...
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Willow Trees and Sun Dresses > Work Organization
Today I realized I often stutter when I am thinking faster than I am able to speak. This then causes me to swallow and forget words. It is as if I am speaking 2 sentences behind what I am able to articulate and then I have to go back to try to remember the words I was using to illustrate a previous point.
Point number two that presented itself to me today, was that I get annoyed when a person does not fit into the persona that they presented to me and I accepted and trusted them to be. This usually happens to people that I work on projects with, or just work with in general. Largely, this is an issue because it is then difficult for me to perceive them in the role that they were assigned and/or generated for themselves. I become skeptical.
It is hard for me to resist the urge to micro-manage someone that has repeatedly asked for confirmation of the same material when numerous detailed answers have been given. Other than the fact that makes me feel like a mother, which I am not, it makes me feel like I am being placed with an undue burden of work. Being detail oriented is not a natural talent of mine. Over time I have cultivated this skill because I have seen how fundamental it is to organization. Naturally, I am a free spirit prone to act in a spontaneous manner that can be interpreted as irresponsible. I saw the burden this placed on my travel partners, friends, and mentors, so I challenged myself to take on this role. While working, I can handle this role, but I become agitated when it spills into my personal life. People just assume I enjoy doing this. In reality, I would RUN from this tendency if I was able to run around willow tree meadows in a sun dress all day.
Unfortunately, I don't get to run around in a sun dress in a willow tree meadow all day, and organization is a skill set I bring to projects. But I have limits, very real tangible limits, and when they are stretched I will begin to shut down emotionally. A condition which, I and the people around me, find ZERO enjoyment in.
Additionally, when I feel pushed into this position, I become upset that I have to change my vantage point of the other person. I do not entirely understand this yet, but it feels like broken trust. I value your personal time enough to make work a streamlined process, please do the same so I can take advantage of my personal time. Also, my mind works in a way an assembly line does, when I have to keep going to back to something, I get mentally fogged and start to feel as if the process itself is flawed.
Recently, I have been able to separate this work style from my personal life, and I want a way to diffuse it. I have to call my dad to talk this out, because he has the exact same tendency. He has the same life/work split. Work hard, play in whimsical nature.
Point number two that presented itself to me today, was that I get annoyed when a person does not fit into the persona that they presented to me and I accepted and trusted them to be. This usually happens to people that I work on projects with, or just work with in general. Largely, this is an issue because it is then difficult for me to perceive them in the role that they were assigned and/or generated for themselves. I become skeptical.
It is hard for me to resist the urge to micro-manage someone that has repeatedly asked for confirmation of the same material when numerous detailed answers have been given. Other than the fact that makes me feel like a mother, which I am not, it makes me feel like I am being placed with an undue burden of work. Being detail oriented is not a natural talent of mine. Over time I have cultivated this skill because I have seen how fundamental it is to organization. Naturally, I am a free spirit prone to act in a spontaneous manner that can be interpreted as irresponsible. I saw the burden this placed on my travel partners, friends, and mentors, so I challenged myself to take on this role. While working, I can handle this role, but I become agitated when it spills into my personal life. People just assume I enjoy doing this. In reality, I would RUN from this tendency if I was able to run around willow tree meadows in a sun dress all day.
Unfortunately, I don't get to run around in a sun dress in a willow tree meadow all day, and organization is a skill set I bring to projects. But I have limits, very real tangible limits, and when they are stretched I will begin to shut down emotionally. A condition which, I and the people around me, find ZERO enjoyment in.
Additionally, when I feel pushed into this position, I become upset that I have to change my vantage point of the other person. I do not entirely understand this yet, but it feels like broken trust. I value your personal time enough to make work a streamlined process, please do the same so I can take advantage of my personal time. Also, my mind works in a way an assembly line does, when I have to keep going to back to something, I get mentally fogged and start to feel as if the process itself is flawed.
Recently, I have been able to separate this work style from my personal life, and I want a way to diffuse it. I have to call my dad to talk this out, because he has the exact same tendency. He has the same life/work split. Work hard, play in whimsical nature.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Oh no!
When my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning, I just lied there and thought. No, no, no. I cannot be sick. I am going to Africa in 7 days. Please. Alas, no amount of universal begging would reverse what was biologically going on in my body, so I took a large dose of Robitussin and began hitting my snooze button until 8am. Nope, I was not going to be able to make it to work, I need to take some more medicine and rest.
Answering emails was fine until about 10am when I started to have lucid dreams and my spelling turned into whimsical languages from a different land. And then I slept, all day. Thankfully, I think this has done the world of good for me and will be up and chipper tomorrow.
Which brings me to the real reason why I decided that I needed to post in my self-proclaimed internet journal: Innate Joy for someone else's development and growth.
I just received a text from one of the youth that is engaged in some of the activities that I help coordinate. Just this sentence alone is profound. She texted me! This means that she has a phone! And she wanted to check in and let me know!! What?! I felt so proud and happy for her. Is this what a mom feels like? I keep thinking, oh wow this will open doors and create opportunities for her future. Could I write a letter of recommendation for her one day? How do you write a letter of recommendation? What assets would I focus on and highlight?
Yes, this is a big jump. But I was so happy that I couldn't contain myself. I really love this transition that I am in. I like this change of thought. It gives me so many more reasons to find joy.
Answering emails was fine until about 10am when I started to have lucid dreams and my spelling turned into whimsical languages from a different land. And then I slept, all day. Thankfully, I think this has done the world of good for me and will be up and chipper tomorrow.
Which brings me to the real reason why I decided that I needed to post in my self-proclaimed internet journal: Innate Joy for someone else's development and growth.
I just received a text from one of the youth that is engaged in some of the activities that I help coordinate. Just this sentence alone is profound. She texted me! This means that she has a phone! And she wanted to check in and let me know!! What?! I felt so proud and happy for her. Is this what a mom feels like? I keep thinking, oh wow this will open doors and create opportunities for her future. Could I write a letter of recommendation for her one day? How do you write a letter of recommendation? What assets would I focus on and highlight?
Yes, this is a big jump. But I was so happy that I couldn't contain myself. I really love this transition that I am in. I like this change of thought. It gives me so many more reasons to find joy.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
An Excerpt
This is an excerpt from a short story that I read in the middle of the night last night. Sometimes, my anemia cause me to pass out at 6:30 and then I wake up at 2am and read essays.
"I’ve told a lot of harrowing stories about those four months in Indonesia, but this is the part I always leave out, the detail that undoes the narrative I’ve spent the better part of my adult life trying to construct: Throughout it all, I was in pain. Throughout my entire adult life, in fact—eleven years—I’ve been in varying degrees of it, sometimes crippling, other times a low hum that has become the background noise of my life. Either way, it’s burrowed so deep in me that it has become one of the most defining parts of myself, the origin of every desire and every fear, the place I spend the majority of my energy either tending to or ignoring. At 21, when I was diagnosed, I flew home to California for a year to recover, but in those three intervening years between my diagnosis and this misguided volcano hike, I hadn’t gotten much better. My life, once full of ambition, had slowed, but, before this trip, I still thought of myself a certain way, thought, this isn’t really my life—I’m just on a break. I still felt like I could be the author of my own story. But pain, as Melanie Thernstrom says in The Pain Chronicles, rewrites us. And to admit that pain had rewritten me felt like an unforgiveable failure, an admittance of shame."- The Art of Omission by Simone Gorrindo
"I’ve told a lot of harrowing stories about those four months in Indonesia, but this is the part I always leave out, the detail that undoes the narrative I’ve spent the better part of my adult life trying to construct: Throughout it all, I was in pain. Throughout my entire adult life, in fact—eleven years—I’ve been in varying degrees of it, sometimes crippling, other times a low hum that has become the background noise of my life. Either way, it’s burrowed so deep in me that it has become one of the most defining parts of myself, the origin of every desire and every fear, the place I spend the majority of my energy either tending to or ignoring. At 21, when I was diagnosed, I flew home to California for a year to recover, but in those three intervening years between my diagnosis and this misguided volcano hike, I hadn’t gotten much better. My life, once full of ambition, had slowed, but, before this trip, I still thought of myself a certain way, thought, this isn’t really my life—I’m just on a break. I still felt like I could be the author of my own story. But pain, as Melanie Thernstrom says in The Pain Chronicles, rewrites us. And to admit that pain had rewritten me felt like an unforgiveable failure, an admittance of shame."- The Art of Omission by Simone Gorrindo
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Saturday Sale Searching
I really love doing things in a quirky way. Instead of driving while doing my Saturday sale searching I decided to drive. GREAT DECISION! I find that life can be boring if you do not open yourself up to the more difficult or less popular option. Albeit, I did not realize how far my walk was going to become or how I couldn't actually carry anything that I wanted to buy.
I'm getting sidetracked...
My point is that along my journey that I was beginning to think wasn't worthwhile, (Yes, even when I was very tempted by all the old lady blazers and flannel in GoodWill and did not buy anything because I was being prudent in anticipating my coming trip to South Africa) I found joy. I left GoodWill and was walking down the street when I passed a homeless man. People always tell me that making eye contact is dangerous, but I always make eye contact and respond when someone says something to me. I have never been harmed, and I think my openness actually disarms the other person with surprise. He smiled at me and extended his Capri Sun to me, and said "here you are".
I replied, "No thank you, but thanks for offering." Never stopping my calm stride.
He looked after me and said excitedly, "Thank you."
To which I turned my head and said warmly, "Have a great day sir." He followed me with his eyes, a great smile, and a little chuckle.
What a guy. In his offer, he showed such genuine kindness and joy, despite his position. Sitting on a curb, eating what lunch he could gather or be given. His actions speak to a natural human impulse to give as well as receive. How amazing is it to be able to share that with someone.
I appreciated his offer even if I did not need a Capri Sun. He made my day.
I'm getting sidetracked...
My point is that along my journey that I was beginning to think wasn't worthwhile, (Yes, even when I was very tempted by all the old lady blazers and flannel in GoodWill and did not buy anything because I was being prudent in anticipating my coming trip to South Africa) I found joy. I left GoodWill and was walking down the street when I passed a homeless man. People always tell me that making eye contact is dangerous, but I always make eye contact and respond when someone says something to me. I have never been harmed, and I think my openness actually disarms the other person with surprise. He smiled at me and extended his Capri Sun to me, and said "here you are".
I replied, "No thank you, but thanks for offering." Never stopping my calm stride.
He looked after me and said excitedly, "Thank you."
To which I turned my head and said warmly, "Have a great day sir." He followed me with his eyes, a great smile, and a little chuckle.
What a guy. In his offer, he showed such genuine kindness and joy, despite his position. Sitting on a curb, eating what lunch he could gather or be given. His actions speak to a natural human impulse to give as well as receive. How amazing is it to be able to share that with someone.
I appreciated his offer even if I did not need a Capri Sun. He made my day.
Intentional Acts of Happiness
As I was walking home from work yesterday, I saw teenage twin sisters hanging upside down from a set of monkey bars playing patty cake. Their red haired ponytails where swinging in the wind and you couldn't help but share in their joyous smiles as you walked by. When I was walking by, a couple also passed on my laugh. We all looked at each other like we were sharing this moment of silliness and we would be embarrassed if our friends caught us taking pleasure in this.
Moments like this seem so contrived. Not the shared experience, but it was intentional silliness that was off the cuff. More often than not, I still derive a lot of pleasure from them. I begin to think if something about it was artificial or wrong. And then I thought some more.. and decided that part of intentional living is finding and engaging in activities that you find joy in. The beginning moments are contrived at times, but that doesn't detract from the actual joy that life brings you. There are moments when you have to put effort into performing actions that will illicit a response of happiness. Moments like this can happen spontaneously, but not always.
You can take the steps to live in intentional happiness, and that joy is real.
Moments like this seem so contrived. Not the shared experience, but it was intentional silliness that was off the cuff. More often than not, I still derive a lot of pleasure from them. I begin to think if something about it was artificial or wrong. And then I thought some more.. and decided that part of intentional living is finding and engaging in activities that you find joy in. The beginning moments are contrived at times, but that doesn't detract from the actual joy that life brings you. There are moments when you have to put effort into performing actions that will illicit a response of happiness. Moments like this can happen spontaneously, but not always.
You can take the steps to live in intentional happiness, and that joy is real.
A Second Chance.
The energy that love invigorates you with is amazing. I guess I forgot for awhile, but then I lived today..
Finding symbolism in the things that surround me..
A hipster cafe that gave me flashbacks of Berlin...
And a perfectly lovely craft night... but now I have to address the envelopes.
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