Week of Challenges

Consistently testing my will to telephone, complain, redirect, and add constructive meaning to my problems.

As challenges come, I tried to remain calm.  When I tried my old pin number last night at a random EC machine, and 50 Euros were magically mine.  I looked down at my hands as if I was in wonderland.  I then proceeded to Verena's after birthday party, and in combination with my new medication and a cocktail I became the most emotionally charged, flip-floppy person alive.

BUT I managed to make it home safely. Albeit, a chance encounter with aggressive men at McDonald's, when all I really wanted was to use the restroom at 2am.  Which sent me into a feminist critique of why I was frustrated that I had to deal with intoxicated, aggressive men at 2 am when all I wanted was a McDonald's restroom.

Today, I lamented why I have not moved into a tree house yet because I want to the most amazing rope course EVER!  Along with a surprise visit from a Cockatoo, who spoke to our group in Spanish, and took very kindly to one of our members.

Only to miss the rest of what I had to do today, because I was locked out of the house for 3 hours with no phone.  However, I managed to read 100 pages of a new novel in this time, and delve into the characters that lived in a time that had to sit around waiting for people for hours before the time of cell phones, which was me, because obviously my cell phone had died earlier today.

International Hustlin' problems

Due to the fact that I just got a new debit card before I left, and my wire transfer was unable to go through due to a bank holiday in Germany, I am currently left with .53 cents in my wallet. Oh yes, and without access to my credit card mainly because most places in Berlin do not accept them. Yes, I am all for this, but I am still enslaved somewhat to the machine and now have access to only a meager .53 cents... until Monday, which would be perfectly acceptable if I hadn't planned some engagements this weekends.

I don;t know if you know anything about German etiquette, but once you commit to an event, it is somewhat set in stone.

Woohoo for inventive weekends of joy.

 Flipper footprints :)

 After a good day of wandering...

Spoken Word and Rainbows

 “I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name just by the way you describe your bed room when you were 8. See, I wanna know the first time you felt the weight of hate and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain or bounce in the bellies of snow? And if you were to build a snowman, would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms? Or would you leave the snowman armless for the sake of being harmless to the tree? And if you would, would you notice how that tree weeps for you because your snowman has no arms to hug you every time you kiss him on the cheek? Do you kiss your friends on the cheek? Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad, even if it makes your lover mad? Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain? See, I wanna know what you think of your first name. And if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy when she spoke it for the very first time. I want you tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind. Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel. See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living. I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving. And if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes. I wanna know if you bleed sometimes through other people’s wounds.”

—

Andrea Gibson On Friday nights, on the occasion where I feel like a homebody, which I would say may be 50 percent of the time, I spend my nights reading and listening to spoken word.  This piece stands out to me because of its content and the reality of how moving it is to truly know someone. Knowing every aspect of their being, and they know you are navigating through those spaces, and they knew what you appreciate about them.  This process has the ability to create such a solid ground for a relationship. At 22, I think I have a solid ground on which to build friendships, but I am still figuring out the whole intimate partnership relationship concept that is healthy and constructive for both parties. In over news, I saw a stunning rainbow today.

I couldn't capture the color with my camera, but each line of color was so clearly distinguished, and yet you could see where the other colors faded into one another.  Also, if you look closer, you can see that there was a second rainbow above the first.

And lil' ol' me after Kjell's soccer game.  Photo rights go to Siri.

Second Round

The second round of postcards will be sent out tomorrow, if that is, I am able to take some money out of the bank to buy stamps.

My allergies have become so horrible that I needed to see a doctor.  Granted, I was very nervous to make a doctor's appointment in German, but I was able to do it.  The office is right on our corner.  When I walked in I was so surprised to see how modern the office was. Props that I did my first doctor's appointment and checked in all in German.

Experiencing the medical system first hand in Germany brings me to another point.  This was a more pleasurable experience in a doctor's office than I had ever had in the states.  I didn't have to pay a co-pay, and my appointment was made for 30 minutes after I called to check for an available appointment. I always argued against the superiority of exclusively privatized medicine, but now I have first hand experience that a centralized medical system was actually more effective and efficient than the privatized system in the US. Although, I must say, the whole completely white doctor's office is also a German thing.. and I still hate it as much as I hate the white stained walls of hospitals in the USA.

Additionally, I will need to experience another visit to a doctor and Apotheke in a less privileged neighborhood to make a fair judgement... but that is for another day.

After my surprisingly prompt appointment, I made my way to East Berlin to pay a visit to a new Stasi exhibition.

This is one of the organizers that the Stasi kept files of people in. One in every 90 people in the GDR was a spy for the secret police.  Young people that were looked after were often referred to as "decadent".  I had a professor when I studied abroad here in 2010 that had a file within the GDR's records.  The GDR wasn't able to destroy all of their record before permission for all Germans to move freely between the East and West was given.  Residents of Germany protested to make the records public, and now, if there was a file kept on you, you can access this material if you visit the office were the official records are kept.  When my professor looked for his, his file said "decadent" but safe.

The recruitment of young people in activities of the Stasi is how the Stasi maintained such a constant flow of information.

 Punks and other non-conformists were often video-taped when they were in public.  I find it hilarious how this is documented.  Can you find the words that give the description of this youth?

 This is a flyer that was used in 1953 by a young person advocating for socialism with a human face, against the totalitarian regime of the GDR. His name is Gerd Stöcklein, its worth it to find more about his involvement in peaceful movements against the GDR.

Copies of keys that the Stasi made that allowed them access to the homes of private citizens.

And some random fun Berlin Street Art on the way home. :)

Settling on Black Coffee

Tonight, I went to a SERVAS meeting at a Pakistani/Indian restaurant.  Throughout the past few weeks, I have been looking over the internet for different groups to join in order to broaden my experience and share it with like-minded people.  On Sunday, I took a four hour tour of Berlin with the Berlin Historical Association. Both are amazing communities of intellectual stimulating people.  The problem is that I am about 30 years younger than most members.

Let me rephrase that, it is not a problem. Because I have plenty of friends that are my age that I can entertain myself.  I think my presence at these events excites some and surprises others.  It has just made me realize that in my heart, I am an old soul that would be perfectly happily engaging in intellectual humanitarian analyzation, traveling to learn, and drinking black coffee.

I also want to write a disclaimer, that I in no way, am a photographer.  I takes pictures of the way I want to remember things, which is mostly likely in my point of view.

Under this willow tree, I spent some time reading Lolita.  This is in the Tiergarten.

A great view of the Brandenburger Tur

And this is the new installation of the profile of the first man who attempted to assassinate Hitler.  The tour guide from the Berlin Historical Association also pointed out that his profile faces the building that used to be the national propaganda office for the Nazis.  Behind his profile is the site where Hitler committed suicide.  Now this is an apartment building.  The Germans choose not to preserve the site because they did not wish for the site to become a Nazi shrine in the future.

Oh these Germans, so intentional. 

Saturday Stroll

After Siri's birthday breakfast at the house, I headed to the Quentin Blake Europe School to check out their Jumbo Sale, which is a back sale/ thrift sale which benefits the school and the families that choose to make a booth.  Having a lot of time to read, and unwilling to carry my ipad everywhere, I needed to invest in some more soft covered English books.  After my searching for some obscure titles, I walked away with 3 books for 1.50. Then I decided to talk a walk to pass some time out of the house before Siri's birthday party this afternoon.

That is when I stumbled upon the AlliiertenMuseum.  Walking in was oddly eery and the museum had the essence of the aftermath of war.  Perhaps it conveyed the arrogance of spending millions of dollars on war, and then millions more to commemorate the destruction in a some-what idolized manner, but hey that's just my view point right?  Nevertheless, the museum had some great information about Berlin during WWII, and documented the fall of the Berlin wall, as well as the occupation of Berlin by the Allied Powers.

It was obvious that the museum was financed by the American government, yet it was very interesting to analyze the perspective captured by the materials and exhibits that were displayed.

Perhaps if there was just one section of the museum dedicated to dissecting the term "reds" or "communists", it would illustrate that we, as a human race have developed a deeper understanding of "enemy" in times of war.  Unfortunately this was absent, and we haven't learned how a stark definition of a term used to group masses of people together can cause great divides.

In fact, even an exhibit that promoted the idea of peace and conversation between opposing parties could have lightened the mood a tad. Or even gave a hopeful glimpse into the future. 

Every time I accomplish something small, it is amazing how proud of myself I am.  Last time I lived in Germany, I was here for 6 months.  However, I was never able to send a postcard because I was too afraid to go into the post office to buy stamps.  I was afraid of being asked a question and being thrown off of my mental track and frozen in that embarrassing moment for all time.  That being said, I did manage to send a package once- a package that had feelings of romance behind it, which always makes finding the courage to do something easier. Yes, I know how silly being frozen in time sounds, but even I have some ridiculous insecurities when it comes to speaking in another language.  I never want to feel like I am inconveniencing someone, so the majority of the time I just don't ask for something if I feel a large language barrier.

But the more I travel, I realize that 10 seconds of extreme discomfort is well worth the effort. So, I sent out the first round of postcards that I have ever sent from abroad.