Rainy Mornings

Every day I walk. I walk to and from law school, which is just over 2 miles.   I haven't been able to peel myself out of bed as early as the first few weeks of school, but I am usually on the road by 7am.  Putting my scarf over my head, I walk into the Seattle rain.

Seattle rain is different than rain anywhere else.  It isn't foreboding, it invites you to walk. You may get a little damp. You may choose to wear sturdier footwear. However, the rain never blocks your line of vision. I would be lying to you if I said walking through the rain in Seattle didn't feel like I was walking through a music video.

Yes, sometimes I would really like to take the bus.  In the mornings, often I dread going to class and I just want to plop myself on the sidewalk, and then I realize that if I did that no one would come looking or even tell me o get up off the cement and go to class. After I realize this, I convince myself that that takes all of the fun out of being stubborn.

Ha, because I am 24 now. And even if I lived near more family and friends, I doubt that they would tell a 24 year old what to do not to be a screw-up.

The weeks are going by so fast. I know I am missing moments with my friends. Hopefully this is worth it.

I don't have the energy to spend on responding. My energy lasts just long enough for me to take care of myself and complete the work needed for law school.

xoxo
Crys

WHAT?!? A blog post

When I began law school, I had the grand idea that I would document my journey. I really wish I had thus far. By far, my entries would be drenched in the pain of learning law and realizing that I no longer am able to have a life outside of law school. However, I feel like so much has happened... that is not true. Perhaps my brain is just growing at rapid speed and the lens at which I look at the world is changing.

It is.

My birthday was this weekend and that added a bit of spice to the mix. I spent the majority of the day alone and then went bowling with some friends. It really is nice just to get your hair and nails done some days. AND, my hair is now long enough that I can style it again. THANK. GOD. Cutting my hair short was traumatic.

I then proceeded to spend the next two days in a cafe. Also, someone keeps letting the air out of my back tires. They are going to be the cause of my death... mostly bc I didn't check on my birthday and then drove on the highway. I felt the car moving underneath me. Scary.

Otherwise, the older I get, the better birthdays get. I go so many great cards from friends and little gifts that made my day. <3

SO many other things... but sleep is so close.

So many classy things.

Within the last 24 hours, I attented the Seattle Symphony and the Burke Musuem. Although I am a poor law student, I am able to venture in the classy lifestyle because I did both of these things for free.

And, in order to maintain my sanity, I will be going pumpkin picking on the morrow. :)

Living in California could be so frustrating on days when you just needed a break from the sun and needed an overcast day so that you didn't feel guilty about processing feelings of sadness.

Perhaps that is why I like Seattle so much. My meloncholic demeanor is so in place with the early morning mist or fog. When I walk through the fog at 6:30am, I feel like I am paving a path through my emotional state. Surprisingly, it is often sunny by the afternoon and one can receive a healthy dose of Vitamin D.

To distract myself from some of the monotany of being in the library for the majority of my time, I have decided to write lyrical masterpieces based on law concepts covered in class. There is a serious lack of humor in law school. Okay, maybe there is humor but it is degrading humor and that is just not my jam. I need humor that is funny but not based on someone else's expense.

Walking over Freeways

When it isn't raining very hard in the morning, I love to walk to the law building. I usually get to the library around 7am. This is the time in the morning when the sun is just starting to come up, but the city is still half asleep. My favorite part of the walk is the I-5 overpass on 45th Street. If you look to the right you can still see the skyline of downtown with most of the lights shimmering.

Also, I have always loved just standing on bridges and looking down at the cars that pass underneath. Who are those people, where are they going, how is their morning going?  So many individual lives can pass beneath you in a matter of minutes.

It's like you don't even matter; the world matters but you are just a spectator. Be silent and just watch it. You can feel it and take it in, but don't force yourself into it.

"Just accept. Just notice. Just appreciate."

Song of the day

Law School

Yesterday was my first day of law school. I was stressed for 75 percent of the day.  Do you ever have days when you just want to go home and not talk to anyone because all of your energy has been spent?  That was how I felt. It wasn't because I had engaged in really active things, it was because I had such a heightened anxiety level. Over the next few weeks, I really need to brainstorm some ways that I can calm myself down within a class.

Also, during my first class, I answered a question before my professor finished the question. It turns out the last two words were qualifiers for what he wanted, and I didn't have an exact example and thus left him silent for a few seconds. THE ONLY ONE THAT DAY. Woo, what a great first impression. This left me stressed the rest of the day. AND, I become frustrated when we can't follow the schedule in class and since everyone wanted to show how intelligent they were, we barely got through two slides in that class... they were 19 in total. Yeah. I am a firm believer in having a solid base of knowledge before delving into a world of hypotheticals. the professor was trying to teach use how to approah those f'in crazy situations that you posed, but you wouldn't let him finish.

I also realized that I am one of the youngest people in law school, and thus it is okay to not have as much background knowledge. So good to be 23 and starting this path. I learn so much every day. Yet, it's stressful so I bought myself a gluten-free vanilla mini-cake to celebrate completing my first day as I watched trashy tv. (Don't worry, I went to the gym first...) 

Today? The Best Day

"What day is it?"
"It's today," squeaked Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.

Saturday rainy mornings give me a chance to catch up on the news and on updating myself on the blogs I use to re-center myself. This morning I had the pleasure of a common thread.  I love the idea that you can treat every day as something marvelous and new.  If you just stop, put your mind to the side, and appreciate the beauty or humor in the small things than you can smile. Sometimes people say I have a sardonic smile, but I am just trying to analyze something while maintaining a positive outlook. If the situation is negative I try to think what I can do to improve my surroundings. Yesterday, I was riding the bus to Pike Place Market to take some pictures of the fish market.  After a few stops, a few people sat in all the seats around me. For some reason, I couldn't stop smiling at the bright green Sounders jerseys or the man who took part of a newspaper to wipe the blood of his ankle.  I also noticed that there was newspaper all over. When I got up to leave, I picked up all of the newspaper and waited for my stop. Everyone started talking to each other about the Sounders game in the back of the bus when I left. Before, we were all looking at each other but weren't exchanging any words. I loved listening to the shift in conversation.

There is this Project called the Best Day Project started by a young woman in San Francisco.  For the majority of her lived life, she had been suicidal.  When she turned 24 she vowed to turn things around. She wrote out 365 things that she would love to day and every day she chooses one from a bowl and makes it the BEST DAY EVER. Some of the tasks are time consuming and large endeavors, but some consist of the mundane everyday things that can be great depending on how you approach them.  Could you imagine what life would be like if you approached every moment as if it was a great journey that you were embarking on.

What would your outfit be? Would you bring any essential tools?

We can make everyday a favorite day for a different reason.  It doesn't make it less special, it makes it different.