Yes. Homoground.
No. Studying.
Yes. One outline.
No. Immigration Law Outline.
Why is that in most American public schools we cover the Holocaust in depth, but never mention Khmer Rouge? What is the differential line that we draw between victims of genocide?
Perhaps it has something to do with the intersectionality of war crimes, class, and racism. I think so.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Prompt Journaling: One
What is your most recent act of generosity?
This year I have openned my doors to many people. My couch knows so many new and old faces. My couch knows musicians, academics, military vets, and close friends.
I wish I could collect some of the dreams of the people who stayed here, and keep them like a memory book. Could you imigane the impact of a memory book of dreams of people who have stayed over your house? Maybe I would ask that lovers be excluded.
Recently, I have let a friend stay over to just let her vent about law school. I pick her up in the mornings and we go to the gym. Then we go to class and she comes over to study late at night. We all just sit together. We laugh on that couch, come close to stress tears on that couch, and make dreams on that couch.
Talking about generosity is odd, because acts that could be considered generous are just naturally engrained into my daily routine. So they don't seem overly generous. Those acts are what makes lives bearable. My favorite act of generosity lately is being more open and inclusive of my friends into my daily life.
This year I have openned my doors to many people. My couch knows so many new and old faces. My couch knows musicians, academics, military vets, and close friends.
I wish I could collect some of the dreams of the people who stayed here, and keep them like a memory book. Could you imigane the impact of a memory book of dreams of people who have stayed over your house? Maybe I would ask that lovers be excluded.
Recently, I have let a friend stay over to just let her vent about law school. I pick her up in the mornings and we go to the gym. Then we go to class and she comes over to study late at night. We all just sit together. We laugh on that couch, come close to stress tears on that couch, and make dreams on that couch.
Talking about generosity is odd, because acts that could be considered generous are just naturally engrained into my daily routine. So they don't seem overly generous. Those acts are what makes lives bearable. My favorite act of generosity lately is being more open and inclusive of my friends into my daily life.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Authenticity
20 things that authentic people do differently:
1. They aren't afraid to express their opinions even though those opinions might be different than the opinions of the majority.
2. They never apply advice given without firstly consulting the guide within.
3. They are driven to action by the inner-motor rather than external triggers.
4. They’re proud of their unique traits that make them stand out from the crowd.
5. They have unique daily rituals, like making coffee in a special way or meditating in candlelight before going to bed.
6. They allow their friends and people they meet to show their true selves.
7. They search in conversations for depth, and not for gossip or emotional news.
8.They’re perfectly happy in their own company and they’re great friends with their own selves.
9. They value experiences over things.
10. They make the most out of the situations they find themselves in, be the situation bad or good.
11. They don’t judge others because they look beyond the external facade of words and appearances.
12. They talk less because they conserve energy for wording things that matter.
13. They listen closely because they’re fascinated with exploring the depths of other beings.
14. They don’t complain as they take full responsibility of their lives.
15. They have high self-esteem and appear confident because they have nothing to hide.
16. They don’t get upset when someone obviously dislikes them. They allow others to form whatever opinions they wish to have.
17. They see beauty and perfection in things that other people dismiss.
18. They try to support others and sincerely wish for people to grow and reveal their unlimited selves.
19. They let go of critical and ill-wishing people, although they don’t hold any bad feelings towards them.
20. They see the unity and interconnectedness of all life, and hear the harmonious symphony of the world in all life’s situations.
When you dated a self-obsessed narcissist... and they never except any form of accountability
And one of the worst things about having been in a relationship with a self-obsessed narcissist is that she can make MY journey about her. And that's not it at all.
This year has been about telling people no. Telling people that I care deeply about, that I can't be in a relationship with them because they don't give me any space, and I give them too much. I don't know how how to draw those boundaries yet. But when I do draw boundaries, somehow I become the evil one.
Sorry that I won't let everyone take advantage of me, or control me, anymore. I let my ex control me. And that has been a process to forgive myself for letting her do that to me.
This year has been about telling people no. Telling people that I care deeply about, that I can't be in a relationship with them because they don't give me any space, and I give them too much. I don't know how how to draw those boundaries yet. But when I do draw boundaries, somehow I become the evil one.
Sorry that I won't let everyone take advantage of me, or control me, anymore. I let my ex control me. And that has been a process to forgive myself for letting her do that to me.
Monday, November 30, 2015
Letting Go
The past year has been transformative. In order to to let myself live, I had to learn to let go.
I've learned what it takes to value myself. Creating boundaries is necessary to be able to live more openly.
Dating has been one of the best processes to learn about people, and myself. It seems so self-focused.. but it is. That is what my mid-20's is going to be about--finding myself so that eventually I can be a great partner to someone else. I need to know myself so that I can find that person. At this point, I think I know some poeple who could fit that role and I know that they would be willing, but I am afraid to commit. I still have work that I need to do on myself.
Traversed some roads in:
I've learned what it takes to value myself. Creating boundaries is necessary to be able to live more openly.
Dating has been one of the best processes to learn about people, and myself. It seems so self-focused.. but it is. That is what my mid-20's is going to be about--finding myself so that eventually I can be a great partner to someone else. I need to know myself so that I can find that person. At this point, I think I know some poeple who could fit that role and I know that they would be willing, but I am afraid to commit. I still have work that I need to do on myself.
Traversed some roads in:
- Panama
- Costa Rica
- Poland
- Germany
- Lativa
- Finland
- Estonia
- Lithuania
- and soon, South Korea and Thailand
Monday, February 9, 2015
Sunday, February 1, 2015
"Racial Profiling Under Attack"
"Those of us wh have not been through this sort of experience probably underestimate its impact. To be treated as a criminal is a basic insult to a person's self image and to his position in society. It cannot be easily shrugged off. Of courese, many victims of racial profiling are not surprised by this treatment. They know why they were stopped––which makes it worse. It;s bad enough to have the accidental misfortue of being mistaken for a bad guy; its worse to feel that you are assumed to be a criminal because of your race. Short of imprisonment, intimidation, or physical abuse, most of the pain of racial profiling is caused by treating law abiding people like criminals . . ."-Samual R. Gross and Debra Livingston
Time to turn my dating time into social justice blogging time.
https://thepragmatichumanist.wordpress.com
Time to turn my dating time into social justice blogging time.
https://thepragmatichumanist.wordpress.com
Now that my two weeks of consecutive partying and no sleep have ended, and I have gone on more dates in two weeks than my entire life combined, I am ready to settle down and do my homework.
I blew through more money in the last two weeks than the last four months.
I realized that I couldn't date when people started asking me of I wanted to be in a relationship..
and that is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I just want to focus on myself. Because, honestly, I have been there, done that. I've had enough pain from heartbreak to last me for a very, very long time.
I blew through more money in the last two weeks than the last four months.
I realized that I couldn't date when people started asking me of I wanted to be in a relationship..
and that is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I just want to focus on myself. Because, honestly, I have been there, done that. I've had enough pain from heartbreak to last me for a very, very long time.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Take me there, Tuesday
Today was a whirlwind.
Wake up. Slightly hung over on Jenga, pinball, and cider.
Grab my statute book as I run out the door--make my way to Tulalip. Get to Tulalip--have a million messages from my surpervising attorney that she went to the hospital.
The supervising attorney had all of the files for the hearings at court. So, we went, as students dry into the meeting. BUT. I wrote my first motion, real motion, in a criminal case today. I moved from federal judicial opinions to criminal motions. I don't know if this is progress or digression, but I am proud.
Then I ran to Target to get hypo-allergenic sheets and a mini-vacuum. Then off to school to finish nonprofit law reading. Then, I lead the homeless youth law panel with Claire.
Then class. Then motion filing and legal research. Then coffee on the ave with Alex.
Then more scholarship letter updates. Then emails.
Now, I just wanna go home and read criminal procedure. But I wish this file was here so that I could finish this parenting plan modifciation motion...
Monday, January 26, 2015
Done and Done
"Cutting people from your life does not mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself."
Mondays Are not Fun Days
Kate Joy got a job in Santa Clara, which means that we will have our Femme House in the East Bay this summer. She is my mini-me, and it is going to be awesome.
Yesterday I was suppoed to go kayaking with Clare on Lake Washington and go to quaker church with Lindsay, but the flu is making its way through Seattle. So, I spent the day working and took a five hour nap. It was glorious.. Until I couldn't sleep that night. But, the upside to that is that I was able to meditate.
I have found that as I transition through life, the visual image I have when meditating changes.
Phase 1: I was always in a prairie field in a biege sundress on a swing at sunset. The swing was attched to the tree by a long cured rope.
Phase 2: I had long curly hair in a sundress, but sat on a boulder in the sun on the side of the river. The trees didn't stretch out to the water's edge, but the bruch was thick until that point.
Now: I am standing in the middle of a light waterfall, and I am laughing. It is in the jungle, and I feel joy.
That's my search right now: Joy.
And tonight, I will go to Add-a-ball and drink cider over Pac-man... after practicing for NALSA moot court that is.
Yesterday I was suppoed to go kayaking with Clare on Lake Washington and go to quaker church with Lindsay, but the flu is making its way through Seattle. So, I spent the day working and took a five hour nap. It was glorious.. Until I couldn't sleep that night. But, the upside to that is that I was able to meditate.
I have found that as I transition through life, the visual image I have when meditating changes.
Phase 1: I was always in a prairie field in a biege sundress on a swing at sunset. The swing was attched to the tree by a long cured rope.
Phase 2: I had long curly hair in a sundress, but sat on a boulder in the sun on the side of the river. The trees didn't stretch out to the water's edge, but the bruch was thick until that point.
Now: I am standing in the middle of a light waterfall, and I am laughing. It is in the jungle, and I feel joy.
That's my search right now: Joy.
And tonight, I will go to Add-a-ball and drink cider over Pac-man... after practicing for NALSA moot court that is.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Goodbye
Because even if you won't say goodbye to me, I will write my goodbye to you. Rehearse it in my head:
Goodbye to your smile
Goodbye to your soft ear lobes,
your lips,
your electric skin,
your long arms,
your kindess,
your thoughtfulness,
your care.
Goodbye to your sensitivity,
Goodbye to your soul,
your kisses,
your cuddles,
your worry,
your hands,
your inquiring eyes.
Goodbye, Em. Goodbye, lover. Goodbye, friend.
Goodbye to your smile
Goodbye to your soft ear lobes,
your lips,
your electric skin,
your long arms,
your kindess,
your thoughtfulness,
your care.
Goodbye to your sensitivity,
Goodbye to your soul,
your kisses,
your cuddles,
your worry,
your hands,
your inquiring eyes.
Goodbye, Em. Goodbye, lover. Goodbye, friend.
Happy Saturday!
While working on individual cases at CCYJ, I exposed an issue with the clerk's office. It is my job to identify if we can seal an individual's juvenile court records. Within the language of the statute, a person need only pay off their restitution to the victim before he/she is eligable. However, courts are imposing court fees and fines, and assessing a twelve percent interest on the total that is assessed the first of every month. THEN, the clrk will apply a payment to the total owed instead of the restitution first. AND, they are not accounting for payment co-defendants are making, so people are paying twice. AND the prosecutor's system and clerk's computer system do not update themselves simultanously, so the prosecutor uses the amount owed as evidence as against sealing even in cases when that number is out of date.
Doesn't make you a little angry? It should?
And, there is an org challenging the ability to seal juvenile records because they say the public should have access to them to protect themselves. ONLY GROSS MISDEAMENORS CAN BE SEALED, not felonies. You are safe, so safe, I swear.
Mmmm....
Instead of Target, I went to the RainbowGrads potluck event after work. A bunch of doctorate, post doc, masters, and professional LGBTQ students in a room--awkward.
But, I met this girl Alex who is from the Evans School. Well, there were not many lesbians there, just because we don't generally get along with gay men that are too sassy, but it seems like we both have a knack on how to handle them.
Friday, January 23, 2015
Results are in
The panel reveals:
I have a severe allergy to dust mites in any form. This is why I am so fatigued and was causing and aiding my depression, because my bed and bed sheets are full of them. LITERALLY, full. So tonight, instead of going to the rainbowgrads potluck, I will be going to Target to shop for allergen friendly bedding, and new pillows. :)
And.. cats.. and dogs..
And severely allergic to grass. Yes, grass, which is why I get so many rashes.
In other news, she won. I give up. I tried so hard to be pleasant on the phone, but it wasn't enough. Do you know what kind of pain it is to have someone continuously hang up when the convo doesn't go their way and then block you?
Yeah, she doesn't care. And why should I grieve a love that never existed. We obviously can't talk. Don't want that in my life. I want people that love me. Actually love me.
So, she got what she wanted, because I am letting her know. It was nice knowing her. Well, at least I think I knew her.
I have a severe allergy to dust mites in any form. This is why I am so fatigued and was causing and aiding my depression, because my bed and bed sheets are full of them. LITERALLY, full. So tonight, instead of going to the rainbowgrads potluck, I will be going to Target to shop for allergen friendly bedding, and new pillows. :)
And.. cats.. and dogs..
And severely allergic to grass. Yes, grass, which is why I get so many rashes.
In other news, she won. I give up. I tried so hard to be pleasant on the phone, but it wasn't enough. Do you know what kind of pain it is to have someone continuously hang up when the convo doesn't go their way and then block you?
Yeah, she doesn't care. And why should I grieve a love that never existed. We obviously can't talk. Don't want that in my life. I want people that love me. Actually love me.
So, she got what she wanted, because I am letting her know. It was nice knowing her. Well, at least I think I knew her.
Cops
Waxing poetic in Criminal Procedure about the search of homes, cars, mobile homes. If people know how much power and discretion is given to the police, they may be a little more wary of the power given to them. Perhaps they would even want the government to require a critcal thinking skills test before they enter the profession.
Why do we need to rely on a glorified filmed version of a police stop on COPS to illlustrate the vehicle assumption? Could we have used another, or given 2 minutes to acknowledge the influence that media has on the decisionmaking procedures of police.
Why do we need to rely on a glorified filmed version of a police stop on COPS to illlustrate the vehicle assumption? Could we have used another, or given 2 minutes to acknowledge the influence that media has on the decisionmaking procedures of police.
Well, I'm an idiot
I should have maintained radio silence, but I didn't, so I got blackout drunk. I have not been that drink since freshman year of college.
I talked about my life, my friends. She told me about her amazing new relationship.
I guess, I am just not lookking for someone new, I never was, I just wanted more friend time. Now I am getting it. It doesn;t help that I ended up at some person's house I didn't know.. with swords.
But thank god, Claire brought me curry and Lindsay slept over with me last night. If you ever want me to cuddle as big spoon all night, get me blackout drunk.
Last night, I was that annoying white girl talking to her ex in a bathroom stall of a bar. Last night, I got to hear how much she loved her new gf as I cried in front of a quarter of the 1L class. She kept saying her name like I knew her new gf. I don't want to know her name. I don't want to know about trips you go on together.
Why did you want to talk to me if you don't care? If you knew it was over in October? WHy did you stay?
And then she blocked me, I have never had a relationship end this way. It is over. She ended it last night. We can't be friends. My friends would never go about it this way. Clare was selfish, but she never crossed that line. She never just shut me down and told me about the new person she was dating when we caught up.
I guess the dorm room goodybe was our last real goodbye.
Thank god, I have great friends.
I talked about my life, my friends. She told me about her amazing new relationship.
I guess, I am just not lookking for someone new, I never was, I just wanted more friend time. Now I am getting it. It doesn;t help that I ended up at some person's house I didn't know.. with swords.
But thank god, Claire brought me curry and Lindsay slept over with me last night. If you ever want me to cuddle as big spoon all night, get me blackout drunk.
Last night, I was that annoying white girl talking to her ex in a bathroom stall of a bar. Last night, I got to hear how much she loved her new gf as I cried in front of a quarter of the 1L class. She kept saying her name like I knew her new gf. I don't want to know her name. I don't want to know about trips you go on together.
Why did you want to talk to me if you don't care? If you knew it was over in October? WHy did you stay?
And then she blocked me, I have never had a relationship end this way. It is over. She ended it last night. We can't be friends. My friends would never go about it this way. Clare was selfish, but she never crossed that line. She never just shut me down and told me about the new person she was dating when we caught up.
I guess the dorm room goodybe was our last real goodbye.
Thank god, I have great friends.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
AHHHHHH!!
So I have this awesome poet friend, Meg Day...
and she is friends with this amazing human, Andrea Gibson. AND NOT ONLY IS SHE COMING TO SEATTLE BUT SHE IS HAVING A SPOKEN WORD WORKSHOP NEAR PORTLAND...
AND
AND
AND
I GOT A PERSONAL INVITATION.
I JUST DIED. I AM DEAD.
and she is friends with this amazing human, Andrea Gibson. AND NOT ONLY IS SHE COMING TO SEATTLE BUT SHE IS HAVING A SPOKEN WORD WORKSHOP NEAR PORTLAND...
AND
AND
AND
I GOT A PERSONAL INVITATION.
I JUST DIED. I AM DEAD.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Selma
Tonight I went to see Selma with Kurt. As I watched the film, so many things hit me hard in the face. I have been so selfish for the past year and a half. I came to law school to help in the struggle––to aid in the recognition of people's rights, and I have made so much of this experience about me. I've dropped so much direct action and direct work.
I didn't participate in the actions for Ferguson or Eric Garner. I let my sadness control me. I let my anger overcome my kindness.
My need for comfort was more important than the cause.
Because most of all––this work was never about me. It's not about me. My priorities have been so messed up.
Damn, time to pick myself back up to engage in this community. So many people throughout history have put their lives, and personal desires, to the side for the cause of equality. They knew sacrifice. They knew patience. They knew kindness.
How can people deny the actions of the justice system are not a direct reflection of historical racism?
I didn't participate in the actions for Ferguson or Eric Garner. I let my sadness control me. I let my anger overcome my kindness.
My need for comfort was more important than the cause.
Because most of all––this work was never about me. It's not about me. My priorities have been so messed up.
Damn, time to pick myself back up to engage in this community. So many people throughout history have put their lives, and personal desires, to the side for the cause of equality. They knew sacrifice. They knew patience. They knew kindness.
How can people deny the actions of the justice system are not a direct reflection of historical racism?
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