Well, I'm an idiot

I should have maintained radio silence, but I didn't, so I got blackout drunk. I have not been that drink since freshman year of college.

I talked about my life, my friends. She told me about her amazing new relationship.

I guess, I am just not lookking for someone new, I never was, I just wanted more friend time. Now I am getting it. It doesn;t help that I ended up at some person's house I didn't know.. with swords.

But thank god, Claire brought me curry and Lindsay slept over with me last night. If you ever want me to cuddle as big spoon all night, get me blackout drunk.

Last night, I was that annoying white girl talking to her ex in a bathroom stall of a bar. Last night, I got to hear how much she loved her new gf as I cried in front of a quarter of the 1L class.  She kept saying her name like I knew her new gf. I don't want to know her name. I don't want to know about trips you go on together.

Why did you want to talk to me if you don't care? If you knew it was over in October? WHy did you stay?

And then she blocked me, I have never had a relationship end this way. It is over. She ended it last night. We can't be friends. My friends would never go about it this way. Clare was selfish, but she never crossed that line. She never just shut me down and told me about the new person she was dating when we caught up.

I guess the dorm room goodybe was our last real goodbye.

Thank god, I have great friends.