Returning Home A Day Later

Tomorrow I am off to visit my cousin and her family in Trier, which is on the other side of Germany neighboring Luxembourg, France, and the Netherlands.  Perhaps a day trip or two will be in order.  Since my ride on mitfahrgelgenheit fell through, it was up to last minute booking a train ticket in order for this trip to become a reality.

Going out last night turned into a 24 hour adventure.  Exploring the topics of relationships became the main theme. And through going out, bar hopping, brunch making, and trashy tv watching I think we acted out what partners would do with friends.

I watch my facebook feed and I see so many people my age getting married and having children.  Next month, I'll be 23, not in a relationship and with a current status of world wanderer.

I have great friends that I can be a wanderer with, and I would prefer to stay single if I am not in a healthy relationship where I am becoming a better, stronger individual.

Over some time I have decided that these are some things that I want.  I am going to avoid ordering them, because aspects in a relationship have ways of balancing each other, so level of importance falls to the wayside when balance comes into play:

• Someone who respects the passion I have for the work that I do, and is following some sort of passion of their own.
• Forgiveness, and a willingness to talk about the good, bad, and ugly through laughter, tears, and the occasional "Are you kidding me?!" face.  Life is going to have its ups and downs, but if you ignore them they tend to intensify. I work in a field where I confront the difficult, so when someone is not willing to do the same, I am not interested in that kind of unrealistic view of what life is.
• Someone who calls and asks me how I am, even if they know I haven't done anything noteworthy in the last two days.
• Someone who goes out of their way to surprise me with things to show that they are paying attention. ( I read once that a good way to decipher how someone wants to be treated by others, especially in significant relationships, is how they treat the other person.) I do that. 
• An adventurer, either in mind, spirit, or on land. And a listener.
• A sense of hope and honesty that ties everything together and validates the relationship.

However, I may just have to learn to be content to be a working wanderer.

Serbia

My interest in Eastern Europe has only grown since I was a child.  Living in Germany makes it much easier to access in depth news material on Eastern Europe with perspectives of the people who live there.  Routinely, in the U.S. the only news sources that report on Eastern Europe focus on the broad concept that these are countries attempting to integrate more democracy into their governments, or border tensions.  Rarely does one ever hear of the actual human struggles.

This is all leading into...

Serbia's ban on PRIDE, which was intended to be held from September 30th until October 6th.  Due to violence that resulted from anti-PRIDE protesters in 2010, PRIDE was cancelled/banned in 2011 and again this year. The government did not feel obligated to provide protection to those who would gather for the PRIDE events, so they banned them in all of Serbia. Additionally, a Swedish art exhibit entitled Ecce Homo has been surrounded by Riot Police and the Prime Minister of Serbia expressed his disdain for allowing citizens to enter the exhibit, which depicts LGBT-QQ lifestyles in coordination with Jesus Christ.

Although the discrimination against LGBT-QQ individuals in Serbia is disheartening, the LGBT-QQ community has taken great steps to address their rights, and have documented the history of PRIDE.   Supporters in Albania are also lending their voice. Check it out: PRIDE-Belgrade

Reading

When I envisioned this year, I hadn't realized how much reading I would be able to do.  Reading on a regular basis is doing wonders for me.  While in college I was reading all of the time, but they were scheduled readings.  In Berlin, I find myself picking up any book that is in English which has led to some interesting finds.  So far, I have finished 5 books, and it just so happens that the first three were written by Stanford graduates. 

One of the books was written by David Sedaris... which I throw away as soon as I got of the S-Bahn.. about a minute after I finished reading the book.  This is not a usual habit of mine, however I dislike his writing so much that I think no other person should ever be subjected to this material.  I have also gone to a reading done by him and it only confirmed that he has no literary merit as an author. Most of his writing is based on such selfish and embellished material that it is difficult to gain any intellectual stimulation from.  He is an author that people read to feel better about how awful they really are to other people... justifying a degrading sense of humor.

Fail, David Sedaris, fail.

However, I just finished The Informers by Bret Easton Ellis and Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.  The Informers was a piece about the degradation of L.A. high society in the early 80's when the economic and technology boom just began. Of course it was based on fictitious events regarding sex, drugs, and culture, yet the way the events were described drew the reader into that time frame.  I even felt a sense of depression and void of a purpose for the characters as I was attempting to relate to them.  Overall, a good read if you are looking for that sort of book.

As for Lolita, I am still trying to process how I feel about the subject material and its presentation before I can even think how to critique in any way.

She's my holiday.

These two weeks are fall break for students in Germany, because of this marvelous break in time I had the last two days completely off.

What did I manage to do with myself?  Some routine shopping, coffee, and mingling in the city.  I took the S-Bahn around the entire city for the first time.  There are so many places in Berlin that I never have the need to frequent, or even visit by chance.

Yesterday, I meet up with a group of people from MeetUp (if you don't know what this is and are looking for people to hang out that share the same interests as you, utilize this resource.)

The state of Brandenburg is one of least densely populated states in the whole of Germany, so there is a lot of empty space.  An additional plus to this, is that the towns are very quaint German villages that have very traditional houses and pubs.  If you ever wanted to feel like you were walking through Grimm's fairy tales, this would be the place to go.

Due to this low population, Brandenburg has some great hiking trails.  We decided to go on the Kunsterwandweg Hoher Fläming, which is literally translated to mean the "art hiking way".  Along the 17km trail there are various pieces of art to see and ponder upon on at your own pace.  At the beginning of the walk you make your way through a village entirely dedicated to art, and there are numerous little galleries and cafes designed around this theme.

 Look at that giant stork's nest.

Can you interpret this art?

 We even stopped to pick some apples. :)

Documentaries

One of my biggest quirks, is that when I return home after having a few drinks I always tune into a documentary.  Over the years they have ranged from topics included socialism, communism, philosophic deconstruction of Hegel, photography, fonts, light pollution, human rights abuses in numerous places, meth, crack, cocaine, and cults. Ever since I was a child I have had an obscure fascination with cults and religious sects.  This not because I wanted to join one, but I found the human desire to join such a dogmatic and cut-off community to be very enthralling to my imagination.  How does one choose to cut themselves off from the rest of society, and is there any objectivity left in the human intellect when that decision is made?

Weird right?  Completely worth analyzing.  Obviously, I have always had a curiosity for the off-beat.

I only mention this because I have just finished this Cults Documentary today.  Normally, most of the documentaries that I have seen around the subject use a lot of speech that demonizes all aspects of the cults, and makes membership seem like a decision that any normal person would/could never make.  However, this film gives some neutral perspective (although limited, and contains very strong language and judgements in matters where it cannot be judged for certain whether that is the case or not), which makes cults more understandable and makes them less alien.

For instance, the Peoples Temple Agricultural Project, or Jonestown cult, which originally formed in Indianapolis, Indiana, then moved to San Francisco, California, and then later to Guyana was initiated and maintained on the principle of equality, racial, gender, and economic.  Many, if not most, of the members where devoted to the calling of equality and working for the social good of all man.  In fact, most were unaware of the the future that Jim Jones would bring upon them.

Quite frankly, it seems like an idealistic community gone astray because of one, or a few, misguided desires of man.

In effect, Jim Jones also had a pristine record before the move to Guyana.  Can we say for sure that his motives were always selfish?  If a change in the overall principle for the People's Temple occurred after its creation, when was this?

The members are now victims, but I think it is a perverse notion to think all members of cults are/were enslaved by a psychopathic drive to believe in a doctrine proposing a purpose to life.  Perhaps they were just regular people looking for an alternative to how the mainstream was working and were unfortunate to fall under the leadership of someone who was , or became, too absorbed in a power complex to be able to think rationally.

Leaves.. and wallpaper

One of the less pressing, but more interesting things, on my mind this morning is wondering if it is possible to make wall paper out of real leaves.  Is there a way to seal a layer to prevent decay, or could one layer decay and be replaced as to hold true to the natural process of life?  I've been thinking about this because I seem to collect at least one beautiful leaf that I would like to keep forever every time I go out.

My body is still incredibly sore from the ropes course that I embarked on on Sunday, Waldhochseilgarten, Jungferheide.  Check it out, it is pretty swag.  When I was zip lining and doing the other obstacles I thought to myself that this would be the closest I would ever come to fulfilling my dream of being a woodland pixie. In essence, this brought to fruition a big dream of mine.

There was a point when I first started a red course, and I thought for a moment that I would just give up and start crying in my harness because it was too difficult.  Surely, someone would come and get me.  Fortunately, for my pride, this was a minor lapse in upper body strength and I was able to pull through for the next 45 minutes that I was on that track, and did not need to be removed from the canopy. 

I must admit, one of the biggest motivators to not falling was the pain I felt when the harness caught my weight.  Although I have a few bruises from the course with 10 zip lines in it, I am satisfied with my performance. 

And this is our Spanish speaking friend. 

After awhile, he became a bit too comfortable. 

The time period after graduating from college has such a shifting quality.  Some days, I am complete confident in the choices that I have made for this year, but there are others where I look and myself and think "what were you thinking?"

Yes, I needed this year off in order to put my life into perspective before I made the investment into law school, but was going abroad the best choice?  It makes me feel that I put myself in limbo for a period of time when I could have been establishing a solid footing, and everything was happening so fast that I had to make a fast decision.