Boo! My computer will not upload the State of the Union. And I missed the Foster Care Walk because I was stuck on the bus.
I think I need to get back to the daily grind, but I am enjoying the ride of putting it off.
I can't wait till I stop cycling from intense anger towards my ex to sadness and nostalgia. It is no fun. I just know that when that stops, the feelings will be gone forever, and I won't want to associate with her ever again. I have never felt this hurt in love. When this is over, it is really over. Our last goodbye will be in a college dorm. Our last real interaction ever. I can feel I'm on the verge. I know myself well enough that I won't engage when this is over. And that makes me sad.
It won't be like Clare... because our relationship wasn't as deep as mine and Em's.
But was it deep? I can't tell if I imagined it all anymore. It feels so distant, yet painful.
