Things I want to tell people, that I wish people had told me:

• You don’t have to achieve great things by the time you’re 25
• You have intrinsic value above and beyond your perceived utility to other people and society at large. 
• You don’t have to have sex, or have sex in any way that you find uncomfortable or unpleasant, to keep anyone’s love or good opinion of you. They didn’t love you or think very well of you to start with if they demand it. 
• You don’t have to stay with someone who isn’t meeting your emotional or sexual needs because they need you, or you’ve been with them for awhile, or you need to be in a relationship. You need you. Your time is your own and it is finite. 
• It’s ok to work at a job you enjoy that doesn’t make you miserable even if it’s not a career and it won’t “lead to anything.” 
• Your life is not a narrative. It is not leading to anything, there is no overarching thesis, it does not have themes beyond the usual shared cultural experiences of your time and place. This is ok. It does not mean that your life is without purpose or meaning. 
• It’s ok not to like or get along with the vast majority of people you encounter, so long as you afford them the same respect, courtesy and dignity that they afford you. 
• Expensive is not always better. 
• Failure is temporary if you’re still alive. 
• People are both much better and much worse than you’d suspect, but usually not all at once. 
• Stop thinking of your future self as a different person and it will be easier to prevent money and health problems. 
• Let people help you, lean on them when you need to, and be available to help, but don’t swing too far in either direction. Try to carry your half of the life basket as evenly as you can. 
• Set boundaries, and do not be afraid to kick people out of your life who disregard them. You will not end up alone and unloved. People who love you will be ok with your boundaries. 
• Your power does not come from money or beauty, but from seeing life steadily and wholly, from a curious and thoughtful mind, and from your ability to say no when you want to, and yes when you want to, and I don’t know when you don’t know. 
• There will be bad times, maybe lots of bad times, but not only bad times. 
• Love will not heal the wounds in your soul, but love can give you the impetus to begin the work of healing yourself. 
• Life might be a long series of starting over, and that’s alright. 
• You’re really cool, you’re really beautiful, you’re really special. Really. Not to everyone, but to a lot of someones sometimes. 

Articulation

Refocus.  Wouldn't it be amazing to feel the effects of refocusing our everyday speech. As I am watching the Presidential Debate on foreign policy, it is clearly obvious that the verbiage is very focused on words along the lines of death, kill, war, and protect.  Where is peace, community, strength, and cooperation?

Just like in individual psychology, the words used in common communication regarding an issue have the ability to slightly alter the lens in which the situation is viewed, and can have an impact on those involved in the discussion and those listening.  The words we use emphasize what we find is important and noteworthy.  While it is important to be realistic and transparent about negative aspects of life in order to address them and come to terms with them, it is also important to convey a sense a hope and healing when discussing the future.

Cultivating anger, revenge, and malice will only beget this kind of interactions.

I'm not looking for an extreme policy shift, I am realistic here, but I think the U.S. could truly benefit from a language usage shift.

Wanderings

My wanderings took me to the Deutsches Historisches Museum today.  As I began traveling as an adult, I have begun to truly appreciate what museums have to offer.  When I was younger, I never knew quite what to focus my attention on and became bored rather that actively engaging my mind and attention span.  Albeit, after 3 hours my brain was tired and it was time to grab something to eat.  This museum is a place where you could spend multiple hours for a week browsing the contents.

While browsing, I was especially happy because they broadened the exhibit on the DDR until November.  Modern history and the rapid growth of society and how people attempted to adapt to those changes really interests me.

Yet, I can't seem to shake the notion of how biased our history can be.  Going to a museum is interesting and informative, but it should also be supplemented with other reading from other sources.  This is just a skill that should be utilized for productive critical thinking skills in general.

What stuck out to me the most was that the Germans refer to the Treaty of Versailles as the Treaty of Shame. German history, along with much of history, is predominately explained by their engagement in war, and the mobilization of people for the purpose of conflict.  The Treaty of Versailles, a document that limited German military force, was one of the driving forces that allowed political extremes, to the right and left, to take hold of popular opinion in the early 1900's. The Germans look at this treaty as the start of a slippery slope exaggerated by shame that eventually lead to to Hitler's rise to power.

Shame is often used to incite reform, yet over time it has proven to be a factor that only encourages more strife and violence.

What a play on words to convey such a concept.  Well done, well done.

SO..

Here it goes, the big announcement of the day:

Due to some unforeseen circumstances, and my extreme allergic reaction to the cats of the family I am living with,  I will be headed back to the states on November 6th.  Yes, election day and three days before my birthday.

Life is about adventure.  I have had a great time and will continue to have a great time for the remaining two weeks.  However, after some thinking, it will be in my best interest in preparing for law school and focusing on my health to come back to the states.

Alas, I am coming home, but will continue to keep my blog up, because I have found writing to be cathartic and useful for developing my personal thoughts.

Love,
Crys

The Internet, A Positive Haven

One of the most amazing aspects of the internet is the speed at which it enables people to connect with one another.  This also has its pitfalls, but if you use the internet in a strictly positive way it really is amazing what the results can be.  In moments, you can find a blog that reenergizes you or renews your spirit, a forum of people discusses something that interests you, an article that gives well-researched information about a topic that you always wanted to investigate, or a friend that you can find some comfort it.

Like most things, the internet can be as positive as your outlook and your utilization of it.  Utilize it for the positive, and that is what it will yield to you.  Heck, sometimes, when I am in need of some good advice, but my wisest mentors are unavailable, I google search for morale enforcements.

In fact the other day, every time I opened my laptop to use it for something, I made a pledge that I would write someone a kind message over e-mail or facebook.  This made my time intentional, and what I did afterward was filled with the genuine happiness that I felt for letting someone, whom I appreciate and care for, know that I cared for them.

Poverty? Only in India...?!?

Throughout the last two years it seems that the discussion of poverty has come up very often.  Yes, I mean often almost in the sarcastic manner that suggests it took a movement, Occupy, to re-incorporate poverty into the everyday speech of the average American.

Why?

Well, I wouldn't say that Americans are ignorant about the concept of poverty.  If you ever over hear an American speaking about India or developing countries in South America or Africa, I am sure that the term would be thrown about it.  (Please excuse my mass generalizations here, I am just trying to make a point.) However, I would venture to speculate that many Americans would ever want to consider themselves as living in relative poverty.

As someone who studied Sociology with a focus in poverty and inequality I have to hand it to the Occupy movement for introducing the idea that a citizen needs to analyze relative poverty within the country that he/she resides in.  Although, one step of the process was missing in order for this to be a productive conversation.  One needs to research the terms and concepts that he/she is throwing around in discussion in order to make valid arguments that could be the basis for realistic and meaningful change. I found, when listening to people discuss these issues, I was appalled by how much they made up based on what I knew from my studies, and how little I knew after a certain framework of thought.  The reason why this is so shocking is that if frameworks and definitions of poverty are not understood by average citizens, who is going to make the call for reform?

For those of you interested in a basic introduction into the issue of poverty in the U.S. I suggest reading this, which is an overview of poverty thresholds and guidelines for the U.S. developed by the original center for research on poverty at UW-Madison.


Sorry for the flip-flopping nature of my blog.  If anything, this gives an insight into the differences in my patterns of thought.

Cleansing

Holy Crap?!? I am in need of a giant hug right now that will last about 8 hours.. at least, and will allow me to type, edit, and create essays, resumes, and cover letters. (Look at that proper use of the comma within that list leading into yet another list.)

Yes, the most relaxing part of my day may have been discussing how historians have essentially erased sexual violence from Nazi Germany, but hey?!? Tomorrow is a new day...