Prompt Journaling: One

What is your most recent act of generosity?

This year I have openned my doors to many people. My couch knows so many new and old faces. My couch knows musicians, academics, military vets, and close friends.

I wish I could collect some of the dreams of the people who stayed here, and keep them like a memory book. Could you imigane the impact of a memory book of dreams of people who have stayed over your house? Maybe I would ask that lovers be excluded.

Recently, I have let a friend stay over to just let her vent about law school. I pick her up in the mornings and we go to the gym. Then we go to class and she comes over to study late at night. We all just sit together. We laugh on that couch, come close to stress tears on that couch, and make dreams on that couch.

Talking about generosity is odd, because acts that could be considered generous are just naturally engrained into my daily routine. So they don't seem overly generous. Those acts are what makes lives bearable. My favorite act of generosity lately is being more open and inclusive of my friends into my daily life.

Authenticity

 20 things that authentic people do differently:

1. They aren't afraid to express their opinions even though those opinions might be different than the opinions of the majority. 

2. They never apply advice given without firstly consulting the guide within. 

3. They are driven to action by the inner-motor rather than external triggers. 

4. They’re proud of their unique traits that make them stand out from the crowd. 

5. They have unique daily rituals, like making coffee in a special way or meditating in candlelight before going to bed. 

6. They allow their friends and people they meet to show their true selves. 

7. They search in conversations for depth, and not for gossip or emotional news. 

8.They’re perfectly happy in their own company and they’re great friends with their own selves. 

9. They value experiences over things. 

10. They make the most out of the situations they find themselves in, be the situation bad or good. 

11. They don’t judge others because they look beyond the external facade of words and appearances. 

12. They talk less because they conserve energy for wording things that matter. 

13. They listen closely because they’re fascinated with exploring the depths of other beings. 

14. They don’t complain as they take full responsibility of their lives. 

15. They have high self-esteem and appear confident because they have nothing to hide. 

16. They don’t get upset when someone obviously dislikes them. They allow others to form whatever opinions they wish to have. 

17. They see beauty and perfection in things that other people dismiss. 

18. They try to support others and sincerely wish for people to grow and reveal their unlimited selves. 

19. They let go of critical and ill-wishing people, although they don’t hold any bad feelings towards them. 

20. They see the unity and interconnectedness of all life, and hear the harmonious symphony of the world in all life’s situations.

When you dated a self-obsessed narcissist... and they never except any form of accountability

And one of the worst things about having been in a relationship with a self-obsessed narcissist is that she can make MY journey about her. And that's not it at all.

This year has been about telling people no. Telling people that I care deeply about, that I can't be in a relationship with them because they don't give me any space, and I give them too much. I don't know how how to draw those boundaries yet. But when I do draw boundaries, somehow I become the evil one.

Sorry that I won't let everyone take advantage of me, or control me, anymore. I let my ex control me. And that has been a process to forgive myself for letting her do that to me.

Letting Go

The past year has been transformative. In order to to let myself live, I had to learn to let go.

I've learned what it takes to value myself. Creating boundaries is necessary to be able to live more openly.

Dating has been one of the best processes to learn about people, and myself. It seems so self-focused.. but it is. That is what my mid-20's is going to be about--finding myself so that eventually I can be a great partner to someone else. I need to know myself so that I can find that person. At this point, I think I know some poeple who could fit that role and I know that they would be willing, but I am afraid to commit. I still have work that I need to do on myself.

 Traversed some roads in:

• Panama
• Costa Rica
• Poland
• Germany
• Lativa
• Finland
• Estonia
• Lithuania
• and soon, South Korea and Thailand

Please don't go

Because when the mania leaves..

I miss her, but I will not text her. I will not call. And yes, I can drink away the pain. And yes, I can met new people and kiss away the pain.

And I will. 

Until I can't.

And then I will sleep away the pain. Work away the pain. 

"Racial Profiling Under Attack"

"Those of us wh have not been through this sort of experience probably underestimate its impact.  To be treated as a criminal is a basic insult to a person's self image and to his position in society. It cannot be easily shrugged off. Of courese, many victims of racial profiling are not surprised by this treatment. They know why they were stopped––which makes it worse. It;s bad enough to have the accidental misfortue of being mistaken for a bad guy; its worse to feel that you are assumed to be a criminal because of your race. Short of imprisonment, intimidation, or physical abuse, most of the pain of racial profiling is caused by treating law abiding people like criminals . . ."-Samual R. Gross and Debra Livingston

Time to turn my dating time into social justice blogging time.

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