New Jersey!

Yesterday, I was in Baltimore, Maryland for the last day of the conference.  I ate lunch with a friend at the harbor and then made my way up to NJ by vehicle. The East Coast roads are so much busier than what I am used to now.

Today, I visited with my best friend. She's pregnant and about to burst with life any minute.   Spending the day with her made me remember what it was like to be a teenager and all the times that we had.  She is going to be a mom now. She seems ready.  I longed to also be a mom, even though I know I am not ready to have kids.  The one person I would have been willing to have children with isn't in my life any more. I wonder if I ever will have kids now.  She reminded me of that.

That kind of love where you buy socks for the other person and the comfortable and passionate kind of love. To know it is so close, but not be able to get that person's attention. Trying not to go, but wanting to so badly.